that was really moving and i hope you continue to write for a long time... should you ever stop the world will have experianced the loss of a great writer. i hope that one day you decide to publish and that when you do many people besides me will find this poem to be a moving and inspirational poem. well done, and wirte on!
wow... that piece really hit me hard... you did a splendid job portraying your emotions and your love for her... i really liked the word choice here also, they show that you are a writer of some intelligance and not just someone like me who throws down his emotions on paper and hopes for the best. this was and is a brilliant piece of literature that i fully enjoyed and hope numerous others will also find this to be moving and will continue on in thier search for what it would appear, you have. however, do not take it for granted or it could all go down the drain... best of luck to you, and may your love be everlasting.
Great job with the word choice, flow and general structure of the poem. i personally prefer free hand as well, but i haven't ever written about a topic this deep. i thought that you did a really good job with the portrayal of the troops courage. i also like that you did this because hardly anyone recognizes what our troops do for us, so great job, thank you, and write on!
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i like the ryhme scheme here and it didnt really connect for me about the poem being about bowling until i thought about how results during bowling can be kinda not good, to say the least. i did like it though you had great wordplay and it was definitley a good poem if a little short compared to mine own. nut i always write alot so it cant be used for caomparison. great jpb and keep writing.
You did a great job describing how she felt at realizeing that they couldn't hear her, i was thoroughly impressed at the descripions in it. i was suprised that her husband did that to her, im also kinda curious as to why they removed the body from the scene before she was examined by MMR units... Was everybody in a rush today? Overall though great job!!
Wow that was a great poem and one that i hope you'll find the answers to eventually if not today tommorow or the next. if i could i would answer you questions for you but i did not travel your path with you. have a happy continuance of life, and keep writing.
that was beautiful poetry yet a painful story. throughout the entire thing i was thinking is the author telling of her life? and it turns out you were. im sorry to hear this and im wish i could relate, hohwever i cannot. the closest i have come was dateing someone who this was a reality for, and my cousin living through this as well.
to you i share,
my love and care,
hoping you'll repair,
it's over now,
i wonder how,
you'll ever leave it behind.
for time will always rewind.
and force us to live it again.
and if i could i'd give this a ten.
this was a beautifully sad poem, and i am sorry for your loss and i believe that this is the best way to help with this pain is via writing. the poem was in my opinion written on a common topic: the loss of someone loved and how we'll never get over that loss.
keep writing.
WOW! That was absoulutley beautiful. that was most definetly one of the best poems i've seen so far. that puts all my works to shame. the wordplay the flow the rythym, it was just downright beautiful, i loved it and hope that you will continue to write such amazing poetry.
that was an amazing poem, especially how thin you had to leave it, it was bare but at the same time descriptive enough to keep me understanding, 5 Stars.
We decided to meet
Beside the same creek where she found my note
She showed it to me
I said this is not my note
She thought I was joking
I said no
this bit right here flows so evenly and smoothly i read it too fast and stumbled over my words! ok not really buit it did read quite well and i like it a lot. im still not sure how to rate it, honestly i think it's deserving of a five but i also think it's deserving of a ten...
this was definitely a good story, better than most that i've written. i believe that there wasn't a mistake in there, but i didnt proffread it to well. i just read it. i definitley like the beggining though. kudos to heather for her artistic talent. there was a nice twist with them dying though. if you can consider them disapearing dying. great job.
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