Interesting work. Dialect has me confused at time. I do not know who is saying what, which caused me to re-read over and over trying to follow. It distracts your reader, and takes away from an other wise intriguing work. I only say this regarding coma usage, because I realize how poor my own coma usage is. Tighten up your comas, it also distracts your readers from your fine work. Good luck!
Sweet and charming work. I like the way you utilize repetition. It has a nice effect in this poem. Would love to see you expand upon this work. The slight hints to something more pull you reader in. I enjoyed this and look forward to more of your work. Good Luck!
Nice slow build. Enjoyed the way the story unfolds with the legend. Nice way of clueing the reader into more details about the main character,
ie "This is a dream. I am a college student at Northwestern, he is trying to confuse me." Nice cliffhanger at the end I can't wait to read more.
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