I thought you made great use of the theme, and your memories were both well painted and sweet to share in.
One element I didn't think worked in the poem's favour was in the beginning when you write: "..My mind, long hard and cold". It's just that you don't elaborate or return to this point, though it's such a strong statement, I feel like it leaves part of the poem up in the air.
That's my honest feedback, anyway. i really did enjoy reading it, and I hope you do well in the contest.
Really?? It was hard to believe you'd never experienced these feelings, you describe them so well. I'll give you 5 stars for imagination and a creative topic anyway.
Are you a fan of Jodi Picouolt? She's not a poet but learning to write, she was told she didn't have what it takes because she'd never experienced heartbreak and moodswings either. But she still does great work. :)
My interpretation: Life isn't fair and there's no-one to complain to when we don't get what we deserve out of it. The best you can do is roll with the punches, since resentment won't get you anywhere.
Hope I didn't miss the point entirely. I thought you made a good point and an interesting poem, for th record.
This was quite a change from your usually tranquil and joyful poems! I liked it a lot. By the end of the poem I noticed that the hunter's purpose and identity still wasn't clear but the I was intrigued nevertheless through reading it. You did a great job of holding my attention, is what I'm saying.
Also, great use of archaic language, very colourful!
Wow. Th8s wa s achallenging piece to interpret but the important thing is that it was powerful.
The jungle metaphors were intriguing, made me wonder what each of them meant, especially the way you mixed them with domestic images like 'a diaper' and a basement floor.
I also got a strong sense of emotion - Possibly disgust, or disappointment, with the way you talk about the 'tiger' having been once respected in the past.
I love your poems, they're always so uplifting to read!
I really got a sense of being overwhelmed by beauty from this poem, which I guess is what spiritual experiences are all about. I loved the way you mixed emotions like in the phrase "tearful 'wows'" - 'tearful' being a word associated with sadness and 'wow' connotating suprise or awe.
"Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all", I say. Still, sorry to hear of your heartbreak and thanks for sharing your poetry with us. You may want change "Deciaving" to "Decieving." Write on.
I'm not experiencing a breakdown but I am going through some tough times, and i really appreciate this message of support that you've extended to the world. Write on. :)
I particularly like the comparisons: Hurricanes, usually associated with terror, compared with roller-coasters which resemble the experience of being in a hurricane only people actually pay to ride them! Then the crazy, whirl-wind experience of amusement park rides compared with "delicate cotton candy". I really got the picture of this crazy, ironic, scary/fun life that we live.
Hope I've managed to do your writing justice. Thanks for sharing!
I really liked the unusual rhyming method.. The way rhymes pop up unexpectedly in the middle of stanzas, and then at the end of each one.
The only thing I didn't understand was why you thanked God at the end. I didn't think a resolution had been made after the negative things you wrote about.
I loved the way you set up the suspense; showed us the intense determination of the stalker that leads up to his attack. And also his cowardice as he commits the crime - I thought everything about the writing was honest and confronting.
I thought the language was interesting. I got an arhaic sort of vibe from "thy" and "thou" but I didn't recognise "Ai!"..
I liked how you used loneliness and restraint to illuminate the beauty that the outside world was experiencing in the poem. Atleast that was how I interpretted it.
Thanks for this. I thought it was a very deeply thoughtful poem, and I enjoyed exploring with you all the nagging questions of morality and success that people (including me) obsess over daily. I was looking forward to seeing what conclusion you would draw at the end, at the end of the day, it really is about how you approach every second.
A great poem of struggle and joy. I loved the brief, vivid images you give us through the poem. My favourite was: "As fragile as hand blown glass." ..That really spoke to me.
I hope you're staying on top of whichever battle you're fighting. Write on.
B
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