Please understand that these are only my SUGGESTIONS and OPINIONS. It is your work, and it is up to you whether you would like to do anything to it.
What I liked: A powerful poem that reminded me of a time when the same situation happened to me. I too, have fallen for a friend before and the awkwardness that transpired from it.
Technical(Grammar/Vocab/Typos) & Suggestions: One suggestion here is that you have an "I", lowercased. Most time when talking about yourself as "I" it should be capitalized. Not sure if you meant to do that or by accident.
In a nutshell: Great work, I look forward to reading more of your stuff.
Write On!!!!!
Grab your lightsaber and watch out for that droid dealing those sabacc cards. Join us for a great discussion of Star Wars.
Please understand that these are only my SUGGESTIONS and OPINIONS. It is your work, and it is up to you whether you would like to do anything to it.
What I liked: I liked the, "you were my salvation, when my world began to crumble." This shows the raw emotion that was there in the implicit trust and love. One that obviously afterward was hurt even more due to the break up.
Technical(Grammar/Vocab/Typos) & Suggestions: No spelling or typographical errors. Explore using a semi-colon sometimes to break up your structure a little and remember to put your periods where they need to go. Typically when you end a verse you do not have a comma or semi-colon as it is an end of verse.
In a nutshell: A very nice poem about a past relationship, probably a first love. Keep writing.
Write On!!!!!
Grab your lightsaber and watch out for that droid dealing those sabacc cards. Join us for a great discussion of Star Wars.
Please understand that these are only my SUGGESTIONS and OPINIONS. It is your work, and it is up to you whether you would like to do anything to it.
General Comments: This was a well written poem. You nailed it on the head for trying to describe what Wriath-Childe is.
What I liked: I'm not really into ghoulish poems, but I think your wording could possibly make me read some more of them.
Technical(Grammar/Vocab/Typos) & Suggestions: Some typos again, not sure if it was on purpose. "Persued" should be with a u instead of an e. Alhough I believe you meant Although. And you have realising and recognise with s's instead of z's
In a nutshell: I'm not really a judge on the ghoul poems, but I think it would be better with the typos fixed.
Write On!!!!!
Grab your lightsaber and watch out for that droid dealing those sabacc cards. Join us for a great discussion of Star Wars.
Please understand that these are only my SUGGESTIONS and OPINIONS. It is your work, and it is up to you whether you would like to do anything to it.
General Comments: This was a well written poem about the feelings you have for your boyfriend. Maybe you should send him a link.
What I liked: I liked your flow of questions to him and your ABAB rhyme structure.
Technical(Grammar/Vocab/Typos) & Suggestions: There are few small ones in your third verse I would put a semi-colon after fears. Also recognise is spelled recognize. Not sure if this was deliberate. Sometimes also it's more powerful to split the word Soulmates to Soul mates
In a nutshell: I think besides the typo items, maybe consider another AA two line closer. A couplet to summarize your whole poem would make it just a touch better. Just my thoughts. I look forward to reviewing more of your work.
Write On!!!!!
Grab your lightsaber and watch out for that droid dealing those sabacc cards. Join us for a great discussion of Star Wars.
Please understand that these are only my SUGGESTIONS and OPINIONS. It is your work, and it is up to you whether you would like to do anything to it.
General Comments: This was a good heart felt poem. Keep writing.
What I liked: I liked how you maintained your consistency through out the poem with "Love is," to often poets change their consistency and throw a poem out of wack.
Technical(Grammar/Vocab/Typos) & Suggestions: I'm not sure if this is a typo or not, but in the first verse, you end it with "I can hear him heartbeat." hear him heartbeat is a little awkward. Also even though you have the poem broken up into different verses, it might help with some punctuation.
In a nutshell: It was a good first piece. I look forward to seeing more of your stuff.
Write On!!!!!
Grab your lightsaber and watch out for that droid dealing those sabacc cards. Join us for a great discussion of Star Wars.
This was a well informed article. I look forward to reading more of the information on this site to be able to better rate and review my fellow writers.
As I just started a forum I hope everyone who enjoys Star Wars comes over for a good conversation.
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