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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/rosel
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8 Public Reviews Given
9 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of My Psalm  
Review by RoseL
Rated: E | (4.0)
I really like this. I don't know if you have already revised it but my suggestion to you is to write it in the present tense. Example the line " In the darkest of my nights, you were the brightest light." to "In the darkness of the night you are the brightest light." also "In stormy battles, you send my enemies to flight" so forth and so on. Present tense in my opinion makes it a the relationship with God a little more intimate. Also I don't think you need so many "you's" The first one should be there but then for example, You cleanse me, prune me, guide me and hold me,You hold my heart in your hand"

Beautiful expression of your faith in God. Definitely keep writing!
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Review of Depression  
Review by RoseL
Rated: E | (3.5)
Honest expression of the agony of depression. Writing is a good way to release the emotions and hidden feelings. Describes a person, dark in depression but in the end knows it won't last and one day things will be brighter.
Just a side note, poems like this don't always have to rhyme, free verse lends it self to a good expression of pain.
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Review of heeeelp!  
Review by RoseL
Rated: E | (2.5)
Interesting, intriguing, have lots of questions like who he is to be worth kidnapping, who did it and where this is and how he was put there, kind of building, location, etc.
Sounds like a nightmare, that is being treated as a humorous situation.
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Review by RoseL
Rated: E | (2.5)
Nice thoughts.. you might consider changing the Don't to " never", and the these to "that.
4th line you might instead of saying after the Even, if it's done in silence. It's your poem and you know what you want to say.
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