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307 Public Reviews Given
336 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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101
101
In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Flower3* Hello Lean. I hope you are enjoying yourself here at WDC with the rest of us! *Flower3**Bigsmile*


I have just read through your item "Interest-Value-Time-and-Money"  and I would like to offer you some helpful comments and suggestions for it. Please disregard anything I say you find offensive and remember, whatever I say is solely my opinion. *Bigsmile*


*Star* First Impression *Star*
I liked it a lot. You have made it such that it really captures the attention of your readers. :)


*Star* Suggestion/Errors *Star*
I don't see any. So far so good. Keeping an item short usually results in less grammatical errors!

*Star* My Favourite Part *Star*
can I borrow some attention,
or will you lose the interest?
I don't know why, but this really claimed my interest!! :)

*Star* Overall Impression *Star*
Loved it. Simple, short and yet so good. Write on and on and never stop! :)

Thank you for sharing this with the rest of us here at WDC. Your effort and time spent to create this story is very much appreciated. Keep it up; you're doing great! *Bigsmile*

*Flower1* Don't forget to drop by my new forum "The Friendship Forum"  or help raise GPs to save my membership and also win prizes for yourself at:"Invalid Item" 
Cheers and keep writing,
~Sarah
*Flower4* Proud Member of The Paper Gang. *Flower4*

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102
102
In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Flower3* Hello Lyle. I hope you are enjoying yourself here at WDC with the rest of us! *Flower3**Bigsmile*


I have just read through your item "Romance, Man Style"  (and it was awesome) and I would like to offer you some helpful comments and suggestions for it. Please disregard anything I say you find offensive and remember, whatever I say is solely my opinion. *Bigsmile*


*Star* Characters *Star*
The stupid guy and the redhead. From what you have written, I see the man is a sort of "player" or just can't seem to get attractions over other women. I wonder how many wives or girlfriends he ever had before? *Bigsmile*

*Star* Plot *Star*
The plot was good. Smooth and not bumpy at all. The pace was fast but not too fast as to confuse the reader...

*Star* Suggestion/Errors *Star*
They dated for a month in a whirling romance -- Dancing, picnics, horseback riding.
I strongly believe the word "dancing" should not be capitalized.
The rest was fine. Take no offense of what I have said. *Bigsmile*

*Star* My Favourite Part *Star*
The part which goes...
He looked at the cute blonde...
Hilarious and original. You have a style of your own.

*Star* Overall Impression *Star*
Loved it! Simple, neat and original, something I like in a piece. Way to go, man!

Thank you for sharing this with the rest of us here at WDC. Your effort and time spent to create this story is very much appreciated. Keep it up and... Write on!


Cheers and keep writing,
~Sarah
*Flower4* Proud Member of The Paper Gang. *Flower4*

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#1510308 by Not Available.

"The WDC Angel Army" 
"Invalid Item" 
103
103
Review of Golfetery  
In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Flower3* Hello JonBBell. I hope you are enjoying yourself here at WDC with the rest of us!


I have just read through your item "Golfetery"  (I had a ball reading it!) and I would like to offer you some helpful comments and suggestions for it. Please disregard anything I say you find offensive and remember, whatever I say is solely my opinion. *Bigsmile*


*Star* Plot *Star*
The plot was well-planned, which helped create a good story. The pace was fast, too.

*Star* Suggestion/Errors *Star*
I don't see any errors, and all your paragraphing and sentence constructions have been used well. Well done!

*Star* Overall Impression *Star*
This was a humorous, hilarious and very opinionated story. I like the well you voiced out your views on the subject and shared this story with the rest of WDC. You really deserve the awardicon! *Bigsmile*

Thank you for sharing this with the rest of us here at WDC. Keep it up and... Write on!


Cheers and keep writing,
~Sarah
*Flower4* Proud Member of The Paper Gang. *Flower4*
*Star* Please check out my new forum "The Friendship Forum"  and start participating! *Bigsmile*
The Friendship Forum  (E)
A forum to discuss about the bestest and worst of friends we can ever have. Come look!
#1577959 by Sarah~goodbye writing.com

Sarah~is having her exams soon
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"Invalid Item" 
"The WDC Angel Army" 
"Invalid Item" 
104
104
Review of Imagination.  
In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
*Flower3* Hello Sara. I hope you are enjoying yourself here at WDC with the rest of us!


I have just read through your item "Imagination."  and I would like to offer you some helpful comments and suggestions for it. Please disregard anything I say you find offensive and remember, whatever I say is solely my opinion. *Bigsmile*

*Star* Plot *Star*
The plot was there and well. You have "shaped" the story with the plot.

*Star* Suggestion/Errors *Star*
Imagination is what makes a gloomy day bright again.
You can cut out the word "again" as it is unneccessary. Sometimes, if you use too many unncessary words in a sentence, it can bring down the strength of that line.

It is all your dreams that have come true and even the ones that have not but you still long that they do.
My suggestion is you but out the words "but you still long that they do" to it. It is wrong and can sometimes confuse the reader. It should rather go: It is all your dreams that have come true and even the ones that have not -- the ones you long for.

These four sentences:
1.What is imagination?
2.Imagination is all the wonders of the world combined because without imagination there would be no wonder.
3.Imagination is the world.
4.Imagination is me.
should each be in seperate paragraphs; one new paragraph for each. If a paragraph is too full and contains too many words, it will be a little dry for your reader.

*Star* Overall Impression *Star*
This was a good, poetic story. Your draft is good. I can't wait for the actual story, if you plan on making one. You make me ponder on the word imagination. What is imagination? I wonder. Good job!

Thank you for sharing this with the rest of us here at WDC. Keep it up and... Write on!


Cheers and keep writing,
~Sarah
*Flower4* Proud Member of The Paper Gang. *Flower4*

*Star* Please check out my new forum "The Friendship Forum"  and start participating! *Bigsmile*
The Friendship Forum  (E)
A forum to discuss about the bestest and worst of friends we can ever have. Come look!
#1577959 by Sarah~goodbye writing.com

Sarah~is having her exams soon
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"Invalid Item" 
"The WDC Angel Army" 
"Invalid Item" 
105
105
In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Flower3* Hello (writer's name). I hope you are enjoying yourself here at WDC with the rest of us!


I have just read through your item "Sorry Just Isn’t Good Enough."  and I would like to offer you some helpful comments and suggestions for it. Please disregard anything I say you find offensive and remember, whatever I say is solely my opinion. *Bigsmile*


*Star* Characters *Star*
The two characters are well-written. I see Jim is a quiet boy, while Janet is more loud, outspoken and frank. Good job!

*Star* Plot *Star*
The plot has been well-done; smooth and easy. The pace accelerated slightly in the end, but nevertheless remained moderate.

*Star* Suggestion/Errors *Star*
I don't see anything I need to correct. You seem to have edited the whole thing already.

*Star* Overall Impression *Star*
It was a good story; simply and plain, yet wonderful. This story has an originality and voice of its own.

Thank you for sharing this with the rest of us here at WDC. Keep it up and... Write on!


Cheers and keep writing,
~Sarah
*Flower4* Proud Member of The Paper Gang. *Flower4*

*Star* Please check out my new forum "The Friendship Forum"  and start participating! *Bigsmile*
The Friendship Forum  (E)
A forum to discuss about the bestest and worst of friends we can ever have. Come look!
#1577959 by Sarah~goodbye writing.com

Sarah~is having her exams soon
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"Invalid Item" 
"The WDC Angel Army" 
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106
106
Review of Why Do I Write?  
In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Jim, hey, it's me again.
I offer you a review on your story: "Why Do I Write?" 
First Impression:
I fell in love with this. I mean, I can totally relate to this. I always thought otherwise, and now I know WHY I always feel so good when I'm writing.
Suggestions/Errors:
None, so far. Your sentences and brilliantly constructed and compelling. I couldn't get it outta my head.
My Favourite Part:
When you say, How can I know what my soul has in mind for me? Its hilarious and a nice read. I feel hungry for more.
Overall Impression:
I loved it; I'd say this is somewhere very close to perfection. I can totally "connect" with what you said. Brilliant!
*Star* Please check out my new forum "The Friendship Forum"  and start participating! *Bigsmile*
The Friendship Forum  (E)
A forum to discuss about the bestest and worst of friends we can ever have. Come look!
#1577959 by Sarah~goodbye writing.com

Sarah~is having her exams soon
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"The WDC Angel Army" 
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107
107
Review of Newton's Apple  
In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Flower3* Hello Jim. I hope you are enjoying yourself here at WDC with the rest of us!


I have just read through your item "Newton's Apple"  and I would like to offer you some helpful comments and suggestions for it. Please disregard anything I say you find offensive and remember, whatever I say is solely my opinion. *Bigsmile* (I seriously could not believe this was your story... all the stories I read on the Static Items list always comes back to yours!)


*Star* Characters *Star*
Paul. Paul seems to be quite courageous in this story. From your descriptions, I imagine him as a smart and brave man.

*Star* Plot *Star*
Well-planned and enjoyable.

*Star* Suggestion/Errors *Star*
1.Meanwhile, automatic breaks held the small, glass-walled box in place, sixty floors above the lobby.
Isn't the word "break" supposed to be brake or something like that? *Bigsmile*

*Star* Overall Impression *Star*
Impressive work. I like your descriptions; you hardly repeated any words. Good luck with the contest and... well, see you soon!

Thank you for sharing this with the rest of us here at WDC. Keep it up and... Write on!


Cheers and keep writing,
~Sarah
*Flower4* Proud Member of The Paper Gang. *Flower4*
108
108
In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Flower3* Hello (suser:jackrawlins). I hope you are enjoying yourself here at WDC with the rest of us!


I have just read through your item "A Minicourse in Intercourse"  and I would like to offer you some helpful comments and suggestions for it. Please disregard anything I say you find offensive and remember, whatever I say is solely my opinion. *Bigsmile*


*Star* Characters *Star*
You did not describe anything about your characters, but by converstaion, you have "shown" the reader a lot of things, like the boy is 26, single, and hates to talk about bees and stuff. *Bigsmile*

*Star* Plot *Star*
There wasn't much plot here, but well... the reader can understand the message you wish to convey.

*Star* Suggestion/Errors *Star*
Nope, none. I don't see any! *Bigsmile*

*Star* Overall Impression *Star*
This was a good and funny piece. The conversations say a lot of stuff. You have written this piece so well... it really impresses me!

Thank you for sharing this with the rest of us here at WDC. Keep it up and... Write on!


Cheers and keep writing,
~Sarah
*Flower4* Proud Member of The Paper Gang. *Flower4*
109
109
Review of He Knew, She Knew  
In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hyperiongate ,
I'm Sarah and I offer you a review on your story "He Knew, She Knew" . Please disregard anything I say that offends you. *Bigsmile*
Characters:
In this story, there are two (main) characters in the story, Thereon and the starship captain. They both display a "private" affection for each other through their telepathy.
Plot:
The plot was good and well-planned. There are lots of descriptions in the story, but in the end, I can get the overall scheme.
Suggestions/Errors:
1.“Good morning Thereon. Did you sleep well?” He asked, turning to let his gaze rest on her bare feminine back.
There should not be a capital "H" after the question mark just before the inverted commas (").
Overall Impression:
This story was an easy read. The words you have used are easy to understand except a few, like idiosyncrasies. I like the plot, which you have delivered well.
Please keep up the good work, and remember this is solely my opinion. Write on!

*Star* Please check out my new forum "The Friendship Forum"  and start participating! *Bigsmile*
The Friendship Forum  (E)
A forum to discuss about the bestest and worst of friends we can ever have. Come look!
#1577959 by Sarah~goodbye writing.com

Sarah~is having her exams soon
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"Invalid Item" 
"The WDC Angel Army" 
"Invalid Item" 
110
110
Review of Clever Girl  
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Hyperiongate,
I offer you a review on your item:
 Clever Girl  (E)
Kimberly has no shortage of ideas. (Flash Fiction)
#1571014 by Hyperiongate
.
Characters:
From your descriptions, I imagine Kimberly as a witty girl with much responsibility. You have described well, which is something all readers will want to see. *Bigsmile*
Plot
The plot is a little fuzzy, but still fine. The pace was slow as you rely more on descriptions in your story. I enjoyed it, though.
Suggestions:
No errors or grammatical matters anyway.
Overall Impression:
Good, although it might be a little confusing. I very much enjoyed the entire story. Keep it up and... Write On!
*Star* Check out my new forum "The Friendship Forum"  and start participating! *Bigsmile*
"The Friendship Forum" 
Sarah~is having her exams soon
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111
111
In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
catwoman , this is a very wonderful story and it is very touching! I hope that, when I have a boyfriend one day, it will be like this.
I read StoryMistress's version of the story, which was just as good.
*Star* Please check out my new forum "The Friendship Forum"  and start participating! *Bigsmile*
The Friendship Forum  (E)
A forum to discuss about the bestest and worst of friends we can ever have. Come look!
#1577959 by Sarah~goodbye writing.com

Sarah~is having her exams soon
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"Invalid Item" 
"The WDC Angel Army" 
"Invalid Item" 
112
112
Review of The Bug  
In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Dear Odie:
General impression:
This piece is great. If you check the pieces I have ever reviewed, you will realise the highest rating I have ever given for a piece is 4.5. I love the great detailing, especially the way Jaime feels when the "bug" is squirming inside her; I feel her pain. She might be pyscho or really the bug is swarming inside her. It gives me the chills imagining what it feels having a "bug" in me.
Suggestions:
1. Ever since the bug came into Jamie's life - into her skin, really - everything has been going down hill.
I personally think it should go, Ever since the bug came into Jaime's life - into her skin, really - everything had been going downhill.
2."There's a bug inside of me!" and then Jamie screamed hysterically, fainting. That's when they had it with Jamie.
Shouldn't the "and" I have underlined above be capitalized?
3.Jamie bites at the straps around her chest, which burns agoningly from the pain and effort it takes her.
I think when you say "agoningly" you mean agonizingly or something? Whatever. *Bigsmile* I might be wrong.
Please feel free to disregard whatever I have said and no hard feelings!
Overall Impression:
Good job. I love Jaime's character but I hate the way the doctors tried to electrocute her the last time. I wish you'd write a second part to the story; I love it this much. Keep it up! I'll be checking your portfolio for more work. *Bigsmile*
~Sarah
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#1510308 by Not Available.

"The WDC Angel Army" 
"Invalid Item" 
113
113
In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Hi there.
Huntress Turned Prey is a pretty good story, in my opinion. It may be short, but you have certainly added a couple of activities into it. I like the bit where you mentioned she was the huntress but outnumbered by powerful beasts. Or whatever. *Bigsmile*
I would prefer more dialogue, but hey, this is only the beginning of the story. *Bigsmile* I would like to read the next chapter soon. Please do not be offended by what I said above, it is only my opinion. Other people may not feel the same. *Bigsmile*
~Sarah
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#1510308 by Not Available.

"The WDC Angel Army" 
114
114
Review of Lack of Talent  
In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Wendy, it's Sarah. Again. *Bigsmile*
Ok, don't be pissed off; I really enjoy reading your work, so...
Interesting piece. It's like, sort of a poem or something, isn't it?? I'd like to share more things about myself. I like poems. I like this 'item' you wrote better. They should sort of have a type version item like this (ok, I just realised you won't understand what I said, but what I mean is like poetry, short story, non-fiction). Oh who cares what I just said. I don't even get what I just said. Forget it.
Remember, all the stories I have rated so far are from probably 3-4.5, and there are only three stories (plus your's) that I've rated 4.5. Keep the good work up!! *Bigsmile*
Below, there are some really good forums/groups for newbies you might want to check out. You should try checking out the Adopt-A-Newbie Angel Army Programme. Don't know anything, mentors will stick with you and help you out. Sry for the long message; I just have a habit of going on and on. Catch ya' later!*Bigsmile*
~Sarah
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#1510308 by Not Available.

"The WDC Angel Army" 
115
115
Review of Poor Ice Cream  
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Charlotte.
Hey, hold on, didn't you write the other story I just read as well? Ha ha
I was briefing through the Static Items list and I have to say this story is brilliantly constructed! I see no flaws around, so that's good. I usually make a lot of errors here and there in my story.
You should try sending this to one of the newsletters. That way, your item will get more publicity. Hey, just a word of advice there!
~Sarah
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#1510308 by Not Available.

"The WDC Angel Army" 
116
116
Review of Summer Father  
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello.
I read your story Summer Father just now. It is short, but then again, the contest is meant for super short stories, isn't it? It was quite good, and those few sentences were constructed well. I like that she loves her father and enjoys spending time with him. I feel sorry for her because she only gets to spend Summer with the man she loves so much, but then again, I guess the less time you spend with a person, the more you love them!
~Sarah *Bigsmile*
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#1510308 by Not Available.

"The WDC Angel Army" 
117
117
Review of Mirrror's Return  
In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Greetings.
Your story Mirror's Return is really interesting and the whole piece is written well. For a short story, what you have done is pretty impressive! I didn't see any errors in the story although I might have missed some out. *Bigsmile*
I look forward to seeing more of your writing soon! *Bigsmile*
~Sarah
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#1510308 by Not Available.

"The WDC Angel Army" 
118
118
In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello there.
I would like to tell you this is one of the best stories I have ever read on WDC. The storyline did not really interest me but the story really, really did. I enjoyed it thoroughly, and there is a good balance between conversations and descriptions.
One of my relatives has dementia (however you spell it) and lives with my family and I right now. I can totally relate to your story!
Toodles! *Bigsmile*
~Sarah
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"The WDC Angel Army" 
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