greetings. I find this story to be rather enjoyable and interesting.
its got a good concepts and a rather good execution which is rare in this type of story.
This was very good for a first try, now it's not the greatest our there, but for a first try i see a lot of potential for you to become one of the many great poets on this site.
I've read a lot of poetry, but am i in no way able to write it.
I found this poem to be filled with a lot of emotion which is something i admire(seeing as the only emotion i ever get out of my work is fear) you should try writing some other poems, or if you have already, post them up, the only way to improve is to keep going.
I'll send a few other people that know more about poetry then i do your way, they will probably be of more help to you then one horror writer ever could be.
Review sent in connection with the Supernatural Group
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This was very good, i really liked how you portrayed death as a crocodile and life as a road, life is a road, filled with many ups and downs and twisting turns.
the clock seems to represent our own heart beats ticking down to our ultimate fate at the end.
at least that's what it seems to mean to me.
You seem to have lived a rather interesting life, at least if this poem is accurate which i believe it is.
The imager here is very good and filled with meaning.
for such a short poem this is very deep. i really enjoyed it.
it makes you think about who you are and who you pretend to be(or not pretend to be in some cases) around other people. the use of red letters also adds to the effect as it makes it stand out from other works i have read.
i'm not that used to poetry and i sure as heck can't write it, so i respect anyone who can and this is someone the best i've seen. congrats.
this was a good story thing, and i'm not sure if you were going for this but it made me think of Dr. Susse a bit as it seems to be writen in his style.
but it did like how it flowed and didn'g revel much till the end.
though i think you should go back and edit out the chat speak.
very good, i don't have the time right now to read it all but i read part of it and skimmed the rest and it's good, well written, keeps moving without being paced to fast and has description without being too much where the story takes a hit.
this is well written but sad. it really lets be know how you feel.
all i can say after reading this is be strong. there is still time ahead of you and i'm sure there is some one out there. that won't tear your heat to pieces.
this is very good, sad but good. i can really feel waht you were feeling at the time. good job and i'm sorry about waht happened to you (i'm assuming this si true and happened to you). good luck and be strong.
I find this story to be somewhat sad but meaningful at the same time.
it kinda reflcts how humans act and can be crual and cold to their fellow man(or women) and that their are some that do care but don't take the chance to show it when it's given to them.
i'm not sure if this i what your were going for or if you under stand waht i'm geting at, but this is waht the story says to me.
wow......that sounds like one heck of a dream you had if it inspired this poem. i'm not sure if it's a bad one of a good one but it seems to be both at once.
i do agree with what people say, you would have a very popular book.
hm....i seem to be right about you, i'll be lurking around your porfoilo even more so now. this is the first thing i've read but it's good. i may pop up from time to time on other things as well. good luck Tracy.
this story is poorly set up, the main page is confusing and hard to understand and most of the branches are poorly spelled or have some of the worst grammar i have ever seen. you should go and edit the whole thing.
i will give you credit for it being RE survival horror but i'd like to add to it but i have no idea what is going on.
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