I couldn't find any grammatical or spelling mistakes . Well done, I should say!
Suggestions
What I observed is awareness, patriotism, corruption- related topics aren't so fitting for poem . And if you try to mix them, you might end up with an odd mixture . For some, it might be music , while for others, it might be awkward.
Overall View
As in the topic you have chosen you have done a perfectly good job, according to me . Well presented, good poem, nice rhythm, beautiful thoughts . Personally I think they don't all go together. But, that is my personal opinion.
I didn't find any spelling or grammar mistakes . You have written the story very well with respect to grammar.
Suggestions
I have no big suggestion in particular. I only want to say that although your story is very good, I think there is something missing . Even I couldn't figure out what but I know there's a void you need to fill in . Maybe, its lack of description or lack of emotion. Otherwise, your story is perfect.
Overall View
You have very nice imagination . And if this is a true story, then it is very good and you're lucky to have had the experience . I have no much suggestions and neither did I find any mistakes . So, in short, you have written quite a story!
"Just onone kiss and my heart leapt into flight--"
I didn't find any other grammar or spelling mistakes as this is a poem and the possibility of finding mistakes are scarce.
Suggestions
Your poem is very good and so, no big suggestions whatsoever . Anyways, a small tiny bit of suggestion: "I watched your face and saw you smile at me" "Who knew the flame of love could burn so bright?"
These two lines, I thought don't exactly match with the rest of the poem. Maybe, they lack the poetic effect you have given to the rest of the poem . Perhaps a word here and a word there would ornament these lines enough.
Overall View
You have written a beautiful sonnet. It is clever, beautiful and simple to understand . You have talents. Keep them blooming . Good Luck! Keep writing...
"I’m different from Zack, the geek kid in school who is always teased mercilessly by me and my crew, and who will probably meet a really cool chick and pen down the Nightmare Of His Life a.k.a. high school when he is a successful Wallstreet executive."
Too long a sentence. It makes it a bit confusing
We weren’t exactly unwilling to follow, but you know, with just a couple more games till the end of the football season, we just wanted to have some time off the field. Asfield, as opposed to being on the field 24/7."
"I let out a bark of laughter that rivalledrivaled both Tom and Duncan’s."
"Jade was smart, witty and funny, and me, being a regular, typecast jock who supposedly had a brain the size of a pea, I could do with a clever friend."
"and no ride either, as my friends whomwho had faithfully observed her for the last couple days, saiddays, said that she walked home everyday."
"Not a pretty boy with a powerful side tackle whomwho was Prom King and Mr. Congeniality three years running."
"Framed in the golden sunrays that waswere fast becoming a regular pattern as the weather turned warmer, she had told me, "
Suggestions
I have no suggestions as to where the writing is concerned. you have done a good job and you may pat yourself. But, I must say, never be so rude again. Also, you sounded very much dramatic as the story ended. Children aren't supposed to be so mature. Let me tell you what I feel . As a person grows more mature, he understands that maturity is the last thing desirable. And such people try to act childish . Those who do put up a mature image aren't as grown-up as we might think. My message to you is to stop worrying and punishing yourself. If your story is real and not fiction, Avery would have wanted that .
Overall View
Very well written. you have a cool way of writing . The writing keeps the reader attached to the story and pushes him/her to keep on reading. A very good start. A bit too heavy end . Excellent skills in writing. Again, enjoy life!
Your short story, though a very, very nice one, was very difficult to understand. That is the only thing that has brought down the ratings.
Some Grammatical or Spelling Errors
HeIt had been long since he had passed the point of exhaustion and now every muscle in his body ached.
(When you express the sentence in past tense, the word 'now' seems odd and the rest of the corrections are made for the sentence to sound better)
He knew that he could not permanently escape, but the thought of being found deadened by exhaustion while drifting downstream was mysteriously pleasing to him.
It was the a perfect day and thean absolutely perfect way to spend it.
(The second correction in this line is optional)
{e:balloon4) This was his newly found ecstasy.
{e:balloon5} Never at home in the city of over eight million (people?), James was constantly consumed by the strange loneliness that one can only feel in the midst of so many strangers.
Suggestions
You could use WritingML tags for paragraph spacings, bold title and left aligned author name.
This was his newly found ecstasy.
This line could be added into the previous paragraph.
You could also expand a bit more on your main concept to make it a bit more easily understandable.
Your Style
Your style of writing is extremely good. You are perfectly descriptive. The way of writing I always prefer- descriptive and emotional. I appreciate your particular style of writing. Give ourself a hand for that!
Keep writing. I think you could lengthen this article and make it a lot better. Wish you good luck!
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I couldn't find any grammatical or spelling mistakes 
. Well done, I should say! 
What I observed is awareness, patriotism, corruption- related topics aren't so fitting for poem 
. And if you try to mix them, you might end up with an odd mixture 
. For some, it might be music 
, while for others, it might be awkward. 
As in the topic you have chosen you have done a perfectly good job, according to me 
. Well presented, good poem, nice rhythm, beautiful thoughts 
. Even I couldn't figure out what but I know there's a void you need to fill in 
. Maybe, its lack of description or lack of emotion. Otherwise, your story is perfect. 
"Just 
as this is a poem and the possibility of finding mistakes are scarce. 
. Good Luck! Keep writing... 
. But, I must say, never be so rude again. Also, you sounded very much dramatic as the story ended. Children aren't supposed to be so mature. Let me tell you what I feel 
. Those who do put up a mature image aren't as grown-up as we might think. My message to you is to stop worrying and punishing yourself. If your story is real and not fiction, Avery would have wanted that 
Very well written. you have a cool way of writing 
You could use WritingML tags for paragraph spacings, bold title and left aligned author name. 
Your style of writing is extremely good. You are perfectly descriptive. The way of writing I always prefer- descriptive and emotional. I appreciate your particular style of writing. Give ourself a hand for that!