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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/serenity5306
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8 Public Reviews Given
8 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
Review by Bioshocked
Rated: E | (3.5)
Good descriptions of heat. But it's pretty predictable I hope that as you continue there is more going on, especially informing us more about the protag's powers and such. You should def continue the story

Please review my work if you get a chance, especially ALL YOU CAN EAT
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Review of Natures Portrait  
Review by Bioshocked
Rated: E | (4.0)
It's a very strong poem and it has a really nice rhythm, throughout. the only hick-up that I experienced was at the end. The question marks and strange wording kind of train-wrecked what before was a song. Maybe that's what you wanted, but it's at least something to consider.

If you dont mind, please check out my stories, ALL YOU CAN EAT, and leave me some criticism.
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Review by Bioshocked
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
It think its a very good piece. The conclusion is definitely good. The only suggestions that I would propose is that you concentrate more on the rhythm of the lines and the adjectives you use. Like, you use a lot of triplets of adj. and I think those could be used more often to give the pacing more rhythm. Of course, it is not poetry on purpose, but I think that might make more poetic prose.

If you don't mind, would you read and review some of my work, 'Sharp Things' or 'ALLYOUCANEAT'??
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