My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE ESSAY
A look at how the struggle is real to answer the daily question: "What's for dinner?"
WHAT I LIKED
I have struggled with this question for years. And the author nailed it!! I work all day, I'm exhausted. I have no energy to put dinner together so it's "let's order out!" This essay was written in 2004 but it's still relevant in 2020!
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. I loved the use of WDC. It made the essay easy to read.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
I have no suggestions for improvement. I loved how the author reviewed the daily challenges of dinner and then offered a solution with the crock pot. I have one, I don't use it enough. For now I'm just trying to hang in there.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE ESSAY
A look at how Hooves aka tHiNg approaches reviews and gives tips on what to look for in a good review.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the bit on how to react to a review, be it good or bad. It's solid advice.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. I loved the use of WDC. It made the essay easy to read.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
I have no suggestions for improvement. I agree that a review should encourage you as a writer. This is a good essay to read if you're starting out here on WDC because it frames how one should approach the critics. As usual, Hooves unique imagination and creativity shines through. Expressive and honest.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE STORY
A day in the life of Misty and Sammy.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked how the author captured the everyday drama in the life of dogs.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the third person by Misty and Sammy. There is a line break used appropriately for the narration shift. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
DIALOGUE
There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. It feels very natural and organic to the story.
DESCRIPTIONS
There's enough to set the scenes. The challenge to set the descriptions in the context of the dialogue. I can easily picture a house with two loving pets who like to play ball and eat doggie treats.
SETTING
TIME: modern day?
PLACE: house
This is something that is clarified for the reader.
CHARACTERS
Misty and Sammy
They are two heartwarming dogs who bring happiness.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for punctuation. You use exclaimation points a lot which makes the story feel a little melodramaic.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
If anything I might clarify if Julie owns both dogs. I wasn't certain on that point. The opening enages the reader. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE STORY
Arie just wants to play.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked how the dialogue was very succinct and easy to figure out.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the 1st person by Arie. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
DIALOGUE
The prompt is to create a dialogue between the internal voice of a pet and their human. I thought the dialogue was very organic and natural.
DESCRIPTIONS
There's enough to set the scenes. This can be a challenge because the descriptions need to organically fit the dialogue. I like how the dialogue implies that Arie and his human are outside. I'm picturing a dog park, but honestly, it would be anywhere outside.
SETTING
TIME: modern day
PLACE: outside
This is something that is clarified for the reader.
CHARACTERS
Arie
Arie is a playful dog.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any punctuation mistakes. I have suggestion. As written: "Arie, Common, I don't have all day!" The correct spelling would be, "Arie, Come on (or C'mon), I don't have all day!"
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
Suggestion as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader. I could easily picture a playful dog giving their human a hard time. A very entertaining vignette. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE STORY
A realistic dialogue about a cat wanting to catch a mouse.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the imagination used in the story. I could totally picture a spoiled rotten cat.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the 1st person by SmiLing. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
DIALOGUE
The prompt is to create a dialogue between the internal voice of a pet and their human. I loved how the dialogue embodied SmiLing's personality.
DESCRIPTIONS
There's enough to set the scenes. This can be a challenge because the descriptions need to organically fit the dialogue. I liked how the dialogue just captured SmIling's lack of desire to catch that mouse.
SETTING
TIME: modern day
PLACE: house
This is something that is clarified for the reader.
CHARACTERS
SmiLing
Clearly the cat thinks there are better things in life that to catch a mouse.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. If anything, I might space the lanes so it's easier on the WDC's eyes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
Suggestion as mentioned before. The opening engages the reader. The ending was perfect for SmiLing's lack of motivation. Maybe next time they'll put forth a little effort to get that mouse. A very entertaining vignette. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE BLOG
Sandy Supposes engages the reader using everyday stories to draw the reader in.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the sincerity behind each post. I especially liked the story/post about how the author's dad liked to cook.
ENGAGING
The blog invites the reader to engage.
VARIETY
There was a variety of posts.
EXPRESSIVE
The blog had a nice, conversational tone, but I might suggest spacing between the paragraphs on WDC to make it easier on the eyes.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes, but then when it comes to reviewing blogs, I'm a bit more easy going.
PARTING THOUGHTS
I might suggest using a graphic in the introduction to set a tone/mood for your blog. I might also suggest incorporating more WDC ML and links for a visual appeal. I enjoyed visiting your blog. By my count, I had 9 individual days for June for the Bard's Hall Contest, 1 day short for the contest. Keep blogging and exploring!
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE BLOG
The Kingdom engages the reader with heartfelt stories of what it was like growing up.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the honesty behind the entries. They were very endearing.
ENGAGING
The blog invites the reader to engage. The author uses YouTube to post links to memorable songs.
VARIETY
There was a variety of posts, of what it was like growing up. I think a lot of people can connect the struggles as they are similar to every generation.
EXPRESSIVE
The blog was easy to read.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes, but then when it comes to reviewing blogs, I'm a bit more easy going.
PARTING THOUGHTS
I might suggest using a graphic in the introduction to set a tone/mood for your blog, though the introduction does a good job with with words letting the reader know what to expect. I enjoyed visiting your blog.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE BLOG
Writings in the Sand engages the reader with the author telling us a little about themselves cats, and political divisiveness. Ditto about Edgar Allen Poe.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the title. It suit the blog well. Nice musings that were sincere, yet washed away easy when the tide came in.
ENGAGING
The blog invites the reader to engage. Several WDC community members left comments.
VARIETY
There was a variety of posts. I liked how the author talked about themselves, WDC and mused about stuff.
EXPRESSIVE
The blog was easy to read. Some posts had an "edgy" expressive tone to them.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes, but then when it comes to reviewing blogs, I'm a bit more easy going.
PARTING THOUGHTS
This is just a meat and potatoes blog. There's no fancy graphics or much WDC ML which I might suggest to throw in a few to help establish the mood/tone of the blog. I liked the word play of the introduction, and I enjoyed visiting your blog.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE BLOG
On the Write Path engages the reader by sharing travels and adventures.
WHAT I LIKED
I love traveling. I think you learn a lot more about a place if you can go to it.
ENGAGING
The blog invites the reader to engage.
VARIETY
The posts engaged the reader using a nice, conversational voice.
EXPRESSIVE
The blog was easy to read. There was a nice, light tone to the posts.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes, but then when it comes to reviewing blogs, I'm a bit more easy going.
PARTING THOUGHTS
Good use of graphics in the introduction to set the mood/tone of the tone. The title grabs the reader. I enjoyed visiting your blog. If anything, there weren't enough entries in June for the Bard's Hall Contest. Keep blogging!
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE BLOG
Blog engages the reader by sharing tidbits from her porch in Montana.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked how the author built the theme of observing life from her porch in Montana
ENGAGING
The blog invites the reader to engage. I posted several times on topics.
VARIETY
The posts had a nice variety and mainly talked about daily life and the struggles/challenges that readers can relate to.
EXPRESSIVE
The blog was easy to read. There was a nice, warmhearted tone to the posts.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes, but then when it comes to reviewing blogs, I'm a bit more easy going.
PARTING THOUGHTS
I might suggest using a graphic in the introduction to set a tone/mood for your blog. I might also suggest incorporating more graphics, and links for a visual appeal. My last suggestion might to give your blog another name other than "blog" Maybe? "Observations from the Porch?" "Montana Porch?" Suggestions only. I enjoyed visiting your blog.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE POEM
Sudden change grips the mind, the rails shake, will it end?
WHAT I LIKED
I enjoyed the imagery of the poem as well as the design.
STRUCTURE
This is free form poem. It is presented in written form in such a way that the reader needs to read it to appreciate the presentation.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling mistakes. The poem is easy to read.
DESCRIPTIONS
I liked: "the crumbling of your mind, the deterioration of your soul, the undoing of your world."
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
The 3rd stanza paints a gripping visual and evokes heartfelt emotion. The poem accelerates after that, taking the reader on a ride of change and how it can affect people. The last word is heart stopping. Very good expression.
Line count and notes were listed in accordance with the contest rules. I have no suggestions for improvement.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE POEM
Sudden change transforms the old norms to the newer ones.
WHAT I LIKED
I enjoyed the word play. It grabbed my attention and held it.
STRUCTURE
This is free form poem. There are no rhymes.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling mistakes. The poem is easy to read.
DESCRIPTIONS
I liked: "Sudden change is the Frankenstein we all fear."
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
The poem draws inspiration from the prompt well. I loved the progression from the change, the death of the old, the apocalypse, the new. The short lines build tension and suspense well.
Line count and notes were listed in accordance with the contest rules. I have no suggestions for improvement.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE POEM
An old church experiences radical change.
WHAT I LIKED
I needed the note at the end of the poem to help give me perspective, but once I had it, and re-read the poem, everything clicked for me. The poem possesses heartbreaking resonance.
STRUCTURE
This is free form poem. There are no rhymes.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any punctuation mistakes. The poem requires the reader to slow down and let the words sink in.
DESCRIPTIONS
I liked: "But it hurts inside as slips away something that gave us purpose."
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
The poem tells a heartbreaking of story of the old lost and the new change, and asks the question: "Is sudden change a good thing?" Line count and notes were listed in accordance with the contest rules. I have no suggestions for improvement. The title fits the poem well.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE POEM
The poem dealt with sudden change and how one reacts to it. It is inspired by the Mary Shelley quote: "Nothing is so painful to the human mind as a great and sudden change."
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the word play; it deepened the experession of the poem. There was a rythmic flow that I experienced when I read the poem. This flow grabbed me and held me fixed.
STRUCTURE
This is free form poem. There were some stragetic rhymes, but no set patterns.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read.
DESCRIPTIONS
I liked: "like clanging cymbals to the mind"
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
Good use of "distortion, disruption, desolation, despair," to emotionally grab the reader. The ending leaves the reader with uncertainty, as all change does. Well written. I have no suggestions for improvement. LIne count and notes were listed in accordance with the contest rules.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE TRAVELOGE
The author takes us to Sovana, Tuscany.
WHAT I LIKED
How the Inn was low key and invited the visitors to just relax in the courtyard.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the third person omniscient. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
DIALOGUE
There's no dialogue.
DESCRIPTIONS
There's enough to set the scenes. I might suggest incorporating a bit more description. What does the bench look like? Smell? Are there flowers in the courtyard? What does it feel like to the touch. You don't need a lot, just a sentence or two to invite the reader to visit.
SETTING
TIME: modern day
PLACE: Sovana, Tuscany
This is something that is clarified for the reader.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE STORY
Fiona visits her family in the cemetery and finds an older man doing the same.
WHAT I LIKED
This is a very heartwarming character driven story.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the third person limited through Fiona's perspective. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
DIALOGUE
There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. I would suggest an edit for dialogue tags. Use only "he said" or "she replied" in tags to identify the speaker only, if you have to. Put action in a seperate sentence. Put the action first, then the dialogue.
FOR EXAMPLE, AS WRITTEN: "Chilly one today missus, to fit for man nor beast. Best get going, it looks like snow." He said, lifting his rheumy eyes to the leaden sky."
MY SUGGESTION: He lifted his rheumy eyes to the leaden sky. "Chilly one today missus, not fit for man nor beast. Best get going, it looks like snow."
DESCRIPTIONS
There's enough to set the scenes. I especially liked: "His ragged coat had buttons missing, she could see the dirty collarless shirt underneath. As she closed the gap, he raised his head, smiling, showing tobacco stained teeth." The descriptions are spot on throughout the story. There's a good economy of words which paint a nice visual picture.
SETTING
TIME: modern day
PLACE: a cemetery bench.
This is something that is clarified for the reader.
CHARACTERS
Fiona and Bill
There's enough here to understand their motivations. Both of them are a low point, struggling to find hope.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
The opening engages the reader. Good luck in the contest. Overall, a very heartwarming, inspiring story. Good use of the prompt.
My review is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
Thank you for entering the Bard's Hall Cupid Slam Contest for FEB 2020. Since this is a unique contest, here is what I'm looking for:
Must slam that beastly little arrow-flinger, CUPID!
Must be Poetry Only, any form or free verse -- doesn't matter so long as it's just plain AWFUL!
Line Count up to 60 or fewer. Place line count at the bottom of the poem.
This poetry entry MUST be written for this contest, February 2020! If it's a leftover slam from another time and place it will be disqualified.
Remember that "bad poetry" doesn't mean just misspellings. We are looking for the really creative kind of "bad" that makes us cringe and groan over its terribleness!
A ONE-STAR RATING is the ultimate goal, here. We will award the "best" one-starred poems as the winners.
And now... onto the review....
THE POEM
This poem is about 3 cupids who kinda stir the pot.
WHAT I LIKED/AKA CUPID SLAM aka GOOD, BAD, or UGLY:
SLAM: BAD. I liked: "A bald, hairy cupid." -- Bad visual. Just plain Bad.
STRUCTURE
This is a rhyming poem. rhyme scheme: aabba. There are 3 stanzas.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
Okay intentionally bad poetry.
Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall FEB 2020 Contest. Line count was listed in accordance with the contest rules.
My review is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
Thank you for entering the Bard's Hall Cupid Slam Contest for FEB 2020. Since this is a unique contest, here is what I'm looking for:
Must slam that beastly little arrow-flinger, CUPID!
Must be Poetry Only, any form or free verse -- doesn't matter so long as it's just plain AWFUL!
Line Count up to 60 or fewer. Place line count at the bottom of the poem.
This poetry entry MUST be written for this contest, February 2020! If it's a leftover slam from another time and place it will be disqualified.
Remember that "bad poetry" doesn't mean just misspellings. We are looking for the really creative kind of "bad" that makes us cringe and groan over its terribleness!
A ONE-STAR RATING is the ultimate goal, here. We will award the "best" one-starred poems as the winners.
And now... onto the review....
THE POEM
This poem is about Bad Cupid. Love the graphic that envisions the "bad" cupid. This bad cupid is a HOT MESS with his bent arrows and most naked.
WHAT I LIKED/AKA CUPID SLAM aka GOOD, BAD, or UGLY:
SLAM: BAD. Description: He's always most naked like some kinda porn. I think the picture paints a better visual.
STRUCTURE
This is a rhyming poem. The 2nd and 4th lines rhyme.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
Okay intentionally bad poetry.
Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall FEB 2020 Contest. Line count was listed in accordance with the contest rules.
My review is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
Thank you for entering the Bard's Hall Cupid Slam Contest for FEB 2020. Since this is a unique contest, here is what I'm looking for:
Must slam that beastly little arrow-flinger, CUPID!
Must be Poetry Only, any form or free verse -- doesn't matter so long as it's just plain AWFUL!
Line Count up to 60 or fewer. Place line count at the bottom of the poem.
This poetry entry MUST be written for this contest, February 2020! If it's a leftover slam from another time and place it will be disqualified.
Remember that "bad poetry" doesn't mean just misspellings. We are looking for the really creative kind of "bad" that makes us cringe and groan over its terribleness!
A ONE-STAR RATING is the ultimate goal, here. We will award the "best" one-starred poems as the winners.
And now... onto the review....
THE POEM
This poem is about Cupid who matched the narrator with a troll.
WHAT I LIKED/AKA CUPID SLAM aka GOOD, BAD, or UGLY:
SLAM: UGLY. I especially liked: Cherubic rat! You wing-ed bat!
STRUCTURE
This is a rhyming poem. The stanzas have 3 lines. #1 and #2 lines rhyme and then the 3rd line in each stanza rhymes.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
Well done intentionally bad poetry. Just plain awful.
Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall FEB 2020 Contest. Line count was listed in accordance with the contest rules.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE STORY
Amelia slipped into the 1920's to do some "research."
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the creativity and imagination behind the story. There were a lot of puzzle pieces that I was trying to fit together as a reader.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the first person by Amelia. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
DIALOGUE
There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. If anything, I would suggest spacing between character dialogue. It was kind of confusing for me as reader.
DESCRIPTIONS
There's enough to set the scenes. You could expand in it a bit more. You don't need much. Touch on the 5 senses, smell and touch maybe. A sentence or two to tell me how things smell like, etc.
SETTING
TIME: 1929
PLACE: urban setting
This is something that is clarified for the reader.
CHARACTERS
Amelia
There's enough here to understand her motivations. She uses the "Contraption" to travel back into time and gets an eyeful.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
Suggestion as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE STORY
Jen/Gin has entered the Snowglobe to get her friend.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the creativity and imagination used to tell the story.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the first person by Jen/Gin. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
DIALOGUE
There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. I would suggest an edit for dialogue tags. Use only "he said" or "she replied" in tags to identify the speaker only, if you have to. Put action in a separate sentence. Put the action first, then the dialogue.
FOR EXAMPLE, AS WRITTEN: "Yes ma'am," he replied while sticking his hand out. "The name's Gibson. Mayor Art Gibson."
MY SUGGESTION: He stuck his hand out. "Yes, Ma'am. I'm Mayor Art Gibson."
DESCRIPTIONS
There's enough to put me in the story, but this is something that could be expanded on. I might suggest taping into the five senses. I might suggest a strategic sentence placed that visually taps into the limitation of the snowglobe. Hint at it sooner to build suspense.
SETTING
TIME: the future
PLACE: artificial world
This is something that is clarified for the reader.
CHARACTERS
Jen/Gin
She goes into the Snowglobe to save her friend.
MECHANICS
I might suggest a minor edit for spelling and punctuation. I would also suggest an edit for adverbs. Instead of "Art replied warmly," I might say, "A deep warmth came from his voice." I find that draws the reader into the character a bit more.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
Suggestions as mentioned above. I might suggest incorporating some action into the first paragraph. The description is solid, but hook me first then pull me in with the description. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE STORY
Dee has bad dreams that hint at the future.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the creativity and imagination used to tell the story. The story had a nice flow and engaged the reader. Good character voice.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the first person by Dee. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
DIALOGUE
There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. Good use of dialogue tags.
DESCRIPTIONS
There's enough to set the scenes. Good use of eyes/touch from the five senses. Good, solid opening line catches the reader's attention: "Oven-like heat saturated each breath."
SETTING
TIME: future
PLACE: rural/desolate setting
This is something that is clarified for the reader.
CHARACTERS
Dee
There's enough here to understand her motivations. Her "dreams" are premonitions that make her seem "crazy" to others.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML. The story is easy to read.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
The opening engages the reader. My only constructive suggestion is that while I liked the story, I thought it really stretched from the visual prompt. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest.
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