Well done. I grew up with Bobby Gentry's Ode to Billy Joe so connected with the story quickly. Griffin sang the song without music. The way the story in the song was updated, yet stayed true to the story was handled well. Though the language used to tell the story was more of a small rural southern town slang than that used by Gentry it works well with the content and the differences made by Griffin. For me, Griffin's repetition of the key phrases and points of Gentry's song along with the way they were modernized made my recognition and connection of the two simple. This, along with the descriptive contexts brought me home. Memories of hot June days with no air conditioning, the family meal, the factory job, the old bridge, the references to church and preachers, the beauty shop gossip, and the conversation around the family dinner table could easily have come from my own memories. Griffin, like Gentry, tied all of the ends up nicely by bringing the reader up to date with the characters a year after the suicide. I am not sure a younger person or someone who has never heard Gentry's Ode to Billy Joe would connect as well to Griffin's story as I did but I do believe they would enjoy it as much as I enjoyed the song years ago. The inclusion of the YouTube link was very enjoyable. I have grown up hearing the song yet never seeing Gentry perform it. Her facial expressions and emotions shown during the performance added icing to this story and its memory. Thank you
This would make good picture book. It is easy to understand, colorful and takes the reader through emotional changes well - from happy and energetic to sad, to fear, to comfort and peace. Fancy uses words well. Some of those words need to be leveled down for very young children but this works for mid to high elementary readers and older.
Some suggestions:
--use the word "is" in the line "his voice are in the birds"
--Also the word "I' seems to be overused in the first of the story. In a picture book format it may not be as noticeable but in the paragraph format it stands out.
I enjoyed this story. In many ways I related to Phoebe Coleman because I was the invisible girl in high school due to shyness. There was a mysterious unrealistic undercurrent that kept me reading as I tried to figure out the reason for it. The characters, tone, situations, and conversations realistically reminded me of junior high so the undercurrent became my mystery. Kromah pulled it together at the end and it all made sense, especially the ‘invisible girl.’
The story could have used a bit more explanation of Phoebe’s home and the reason the principal, Mrs. Chatham, chose her to show the new transfer student around instead of a more outgoing student. After reading the story I have made my own assumptions but some guidance would be nice, as a reader.
Overall, I will look forward to reading more of Kromah’s work.
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