My favorite part is the paragraph that starts with, "I turn slowly." I jumped when I read how Brian thinks that the situation feels as though he dreamt it, but he honestly knows that what is happening is real. I believe many readers will know that feeling - when something bad or very odd happens, one doesn't quite believe that the moment is real.
When writing dialogue, know that punctuation marks need to be inside quotation marks. For instance:
"Well, we could always just throw you out the window I guess." (The period is inside the ending quote.)
"Write on!"
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