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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/thebishop
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59 Public Reviews Given
87 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of As I Ask  
Review by The Bishop
Rated: E | (4.0)
Overall Impressions:

Again this is a good piece of poetry. It flows well and speaks of powerful emotions inside.

Grammar etc:

This could be my lack of grammar skills, but shouldn't line 5 be "not too hard" etc?

What I liked:

The suggestive nature of this poem

Words of Encouragement:

You have a gift - I do hope you continue to bless us with it.
2
2
Review of I Remember  
Review by The Bishop
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Overall Impressions:

A nice little poem - simple yet effective.

Flow:

The flow of this piece is fine. Its not my fav style of poety but it works.

Grammar etc:

I didn't come across anything

What I liked:

The repetition of the phrase "I remember..."

Suggestions:

Couple of things. Firslty the layout. Would it be better to divide up the lines:
"In your eyes I saw the stars,
They went on for miles." etc

Also the phrase "entangled like a glove" To me gloves are not something I consider to be entangled much. I have to admit I can't think of anything other...than glove. Perhaps the word that needs to change is "entangled"

Words of Encouragement:

This is a good solid poem. You are demonstrating really good potential and I hope to be able to read some more soon. Keep writing and sharing
3
3
Review by The Bishop
Rated: E | (4.0)
Overall Impressions:

A very descriptive and vivid short. Full of potential for more

Flow:

The flow is rapid. I liked the way it opened up with the end and moved from there, and interesting way to begininng

Imagery/Scenery/Setting:

You have a talent for description. It was easy to imagine what you where describing to us.

Characters:

I am interested in Michael I want to know more about what happened before and what is happening now.

Grammar etc:

I didn't find any mistakes.
What I liked:

Suggestions:

Its hard to see where things could get better. Perhaps - if possible take more time and go into more detail about what is happening to Michael to draw the reader into a more intimate relationship with him. I felt a little detached from the character. That is my only crit/suggestions.

Words of Encouragement:

This is a good solid piece of work. I am impressed by your talent. Keep writing and sharing this story with us.
4
4
Review of My Story  
Review by The Bishop
Rated: E | (3.5)
Overall Impressions:

A moving story. Is it based on a true story or is it fiction?

Flow:

You are sharing some powerful news with us and the flow is very rapid making it hard to take it all in.

Imagery/Scenery/Setting:

This isnt bad. It could be worked on a bit, with some more decriptive stuff to help draw the reader more into the horrible situation.

What I liked:

The emotive subject and the hope at the end thanks to the father.

Suggestions:

As I have mentioned - some more descriptive work would not only engage the reader more but was also raise the standard too.

Words of Encouragement:

You have a great base here. And a powerful story to share. Keep writing and sharing your gift.
5
5
Review by The Bishop
Rated: E | (4.0)
Overall Impressions:

Another beautiful poem. Full of the sadness of winter.

Flow:

Is good and powerful.

What I liked:

I found the final line very moving. Loss and death is such a hard thing to turn into words. You did it well.

Suggestions:

It feels as if there should be another line. I realize this might not be possible but I was just expecting more.

Words of Encouragement:

I am growing to like your style very much. Keep writing.
6
6
Review by The Bishop
Rated: E | (4.0)
Overall Impressions:

A very simple, yet effective poem.

Flow:

There is a natural flow to this, from sea to air.

What I liked:

The natural flow you have from sea to air, the surprise as it takes to wing.

Suggestions:

Are you set upon the bird being a gull. There are many sea birds - perhaps an albertros or a puffin?

Words of Encouragement:

You have a real talent. Keep creating!
7
7
Review by The Bishop
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Overall Impressions:

I read the other chapters, but decided to hold the rest of my comments for here.

Flow:

The flow is great. It is fast pased and non-stop.

Imagery/Scenery/Setting:

All the way through it possible to picture what is happening. It is well described.

Characters:

The characters are growing and developing in each chapter. This is really good.

Grammar etc:

Seemed fine to me.

What I liked:

The ending! What a cliff hanger for the chapter!

Words of Encouragement:

As I said at my first review. This is not my normal style but I have found it addictive and well written. Well done. And please write the next chapter soon!

God bless.
8
8
Review by The Bishop
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Overall Impressions:

This is developing into a very interesting tale. I am looking forward to reading the other chapters.

Flow:

It is fast and moves quickly - which given the circumstances its very likely.

Imagery/Scenery/Setting:

You continue to draw on some very powerful imagery and good use of words. For example "the heavy oak door" says so much more than "door".

What I liked:

In this chp I really liked the dialogue between Séamus and Treasa Kelley

Words of Encouragement:

Keep writing, this is really good.

God bless
9
9
Review by The Bishop
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Overall Impressions:

This is not normally the type of story I read, but I found it very interesting.

Flow:

The story develops at a pace in keeping with the setting and Ii really like this.

Imagery/Scenery/Setting:

Your opening sentence captured my imagination. And I think has set the scene for the rest of the story.

Characters:

You have created some very believable characters who you can empathise with.

Grammar etc:

I could not find anything.

What I liked:

The descriptive elements. I admired the way you describe the scenes so well.

Words of Encouragement:

This is a good story. You have a real talent and I am looking forward to reading the rest.
10
10
Review by The Bishop
Rated: E | (4.0)
Thank you for sharing this with us here on WDC. This is clearly something very personal to you. It is a very powerful description of a life lived and shared with others.

You have combined you personal feelings so well with the descriptive nature. I am pleased to have been able to read it. Thank you.
11
11
Review by The Bishop
Rated: E | (4.0)
A very simple, yet effective poem. I can see how it must have helped you through tough times. I really like the imagery you have used in it. Everything is of the air, floating, sky rainbow etc and this helps capture a mood for the journey as it were.

Well done. Keep sharing and writing.
12
12
Review by The Bishop
Rated: E | (4.5)
Overall Impressions:

This is great! Its a brilliant depiction of our need for God and our need for each other.

Imagery/Scenery/Setting:

You have a real talent with words to create wonderful images in the readers mind.

Words of Encouragement:

This is a great little poem. Keep up the great work.
13
13
Review by The Bishop
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Overall Impressions:

This is an interesting poem that I got, but found a little difficult to read. You certainly have dealt with an interesting topic in greed and money and I think you have handled it well.

Imagery/Scenery/Setting:

I liked the imagery you used. I especially like the idea of flying free.

Grammar etc:

Nothing that I could see.

Words of Encouragement:

This was a good solid piece of work which I enjoyed readind. Keep writing and sharing your talent with us here.
14
14
Review by The Bishop
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Overall Impressions:

I thought this was a really good piece of writing. Very contempoary and relevant to our times. You told a good story that kept me reading all the way through.

Imagery/Scenery/Setting:

You're desciptive elements ok, I might have tried to do some more description of the scenes - like the old leather chair worn into shape - but having said that I could just imagine the character sitting in their house glued to the screen.

Grammar etc:

I found one typo here....

"No one had ever called up to request that they remove thier services from thier (their) home.."

Words of Encouragement:

You have a real talent here. I was hooked - almost addicted to it. Well done and keep writing - please!!!
15
15
Review by The Bishop
Rated: E | (3.5)
Overall Impressions:

This is not the usual thing I would read, but I found it very well put together. Especially bring to two stories into one.

Imagery/Scenery/Setting:

The imagery you used was good and enabled me to picture and imagine the scenes described. I especially liked the scene on the deck of the Carrier.

Characters:

Good, well constructed characters - I presume based on historical facts?

Grammar etc:

I didn't notice any mistakes or errors in this area.

Words of Encouragement:

I did enjoy this piece of writing. It flows well and is a good read. Keep up the good work.
16
16
Review of To Ask Why  
Review by The Bishop
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Overall Impressions:

I liked the way you combined the two styles of writing and there is a good flow to the piece all the way through.

Imagery/Scenery/Setting:

You paint a bleak picture very well. Its was easy to imagine the scene from the way you described it.

Grammar etc:

I did find any mistakes.

Words of Encouragement:

Another fine piece of work from you. Well done and keep writing this stuff.

God bless.
17
17
Review by The Bishop
Rated: E | (4.5)
Overall Impressions:

Again a very well crafted piece of work.

Imagery:

With few words you have greated powerful imagery that captures the readers imagination.

Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation:

I didn't find any mistakes

Suggestions:

My favourite bit is "but Hark! to be a mocking bird"

Closing Remarks:

You have a real talent. Be encouraged
18
18
Review by The Bishop
Rated: E | (4.5)
Overall Impressions:

So very simple and yet so very effective

Imagery:

With few words you have crafted a delightful little poem!

Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation:

I could see any mistakes

Suggestions:

None that I can think of. It is effective just the way it is.

Closing Remarks:

It takes real talent and imagination to be able to convey such imagery in so few words. Well done and keep writing!
19
19
Review by The Bishop
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
You asked for a review - so here it is:

Overall Impressions:

This is an interesting tale. I think it has some potential but also needs some work to get it there.

Imagery:

The imagery is good, you have the beginings of some talent here. You could perhaps work on developing ideas a bit more. For example "Meanwhile back in the magically built up areas" sounds a little blunt and could be much more descriptive.

Characters:

There is some real scope with these characters. Again it might help the reader if you work a bit more on the descriptive side of the Characters - more detail about the baby for example, or Krug - I imagined him as some sort of battle hardended man - and would suspect he would have some scars of war that could add to his appearance.

Grammar etc:

There are a few mistakes: For example

"Krug back away hitting the edge of the globe," it should be "backed". I am happy to go through in more detail if you like - just let me know.

Suggestions:

Don't rush a story - give it space and room to grow. It all happens very quickly and could be developed more with more descriptive scenes and dialogue/character development.

Closing Remarks:

This is good, it does need work, but its worth putting in the effort. Keep writing and don't give up. I want to know where this goes.
20
20
Review by The Bishop
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
You very graciously reviewed my little story of Jesus and the Sales Assistant and I wanted to see how you used your gift of writing. I loved this idea. I am a youth minister in the UK and with your kind permission I'd like to use this idea next Easter. I think its brillant.

It's so true that kids learn best when its fun. And I think adults do too most of the time. Thanks for this.

God bless.
21
21
Review of Rockabee  
Review by The Bishop
Rated: E | (4.0)
I thought this was a good story. It is well written and keeps you interested all the way to the end. Descriptively it is good and the overal story arc works well. I really liked the ending too. I felt that it was a good way to round it off. Well done.
22
22
Review of Mother Eirith  
for entry "Mother Eirith." 
Review by The Bishop
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I really enjoyed reading this story. This is a good piece of work. You have obviously worked hard on developing this into a good story. I really liked the dialouge and the descriptive scenes were excellent. Keep on writing and keep on creating insane characters.
23
23
Review of The Edge  
Review by The Bishop
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
I enjoyed reading this. Thanks. The descriptive sceens worked really well and helped me to picture what was happening. The dialogue was good, but could perhaps be more relaxed - more following. Overall a well written piece. Keep up the good work and keep on writing.
24
24
Review by The Bishop
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I really enjoyed this opening tale. The descriptiveness of the mist and the use of the natural environment to aid the elf was a good idea. For me the fight scene happened a little too quickly/easily, but it was still good. It was a good prologue that has got me wanting to know what happens next.
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