*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/theinkyfeather
Review Requests: OFF
7 Public Reviews Given
7 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Wishful Bay  
Review by The Inky Feather
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello. This is quite a fun poem even though it deals with a shark attack; the rhyming format makes it approachable and stops it becoming dark, and I can imagine someone reading to a group of children around a camp fire. It reminded me of a Pirate's tale. I don't know if that was the effect you wanted but I enjoyed it that way :)

Sofia (aka The Inky Feather)
www.theinkyfeather.com
2
2
Review of Shaman's Trance  
Review by The Inky Feather
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, I really liked this poem. As someone who meditates on a regular basis I can identify the ideas in this piece. The presentation is good and definitely helps the reading. It's interesting the communication we can have in these states, and what it has to teach us.
3
3
Review of The Ice Lake  
Review by The Inky Feather
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
I like this, as it describes how we can trap our whole worldview but refusing to learn and grow. I only have a few suggestions: 1) I don't think the first paragraph is necessary; if the reader starts from the second paragraph the meaning is much clearer and the entry into the story is more dramatic (in my opinion). 2) The words "darkness" and "cold" repeat throughout the piece, and I found myself scanning over these bits. Maybe think of alternative ways to express the same idea? Maybe the numbing effect of the ice against the skin, as an example. 3) The realisations the character has, well, how does he arrive at these? What about his environment presents itself to his understanding? There could be a clearer link between the struggling and the epiphany.
Overall, though, I enjoyed it.
3 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/theinkyfeather