Great story, very hunting!, The characterization is brilliant, with different personalities amongst the characters, the strong, "boyish" girl, the scared guy and the "strong" lad that actually is as scared if not more! great!, dialogue is good, and the story is catchy, I was hooked.
Congratulations!
The opening was brilliant. I loved the way you described the tower as "ironically very beautiful." and when you talked about the irony of finding something destroying the world as beautiful. I think that there was too much characters introduced, without much describtion of them. What I liked was the setting, the medivial/fantasy genre is a very hard genre to write, because many M/F writers tend to repeat, which I think you didn't, soo this is a good point.
I must say that I loved your story. The characterization was good, the plot, awesome! It made me think a lot, like what would happen to us, if it happened. But, I think that would much more effective as a novel (If it happens to be a novel, I'll be one of the first readers!). It as a brilliant potential I believe.
Some stories are better short, some better long. You're one is (would be) a fantastic novel. I like the fact that the characters did the same mistake again, something that happens, unluckly, all the time throughout history. When I read your story, I couldn't stop thinking about it.
Wonderful. I can't even say anything. I share your sorrow and your grieve. It was well writen, and the emotion is there. When you read it, it feels like, I can't explain it, but I felt it.
Is it true? if yes, very funny anecdote. I love the way you write, I could imagine the scene quite clearly. I will have a look at your portfilio for sure!
I really appreciate what you are doing for your friend. It shows how much your care for her and how nice you are. If anything like this happened to me, I would love to have someone like you by my side.
I would love to contribute to this to show how much I care, and how a community should behave. The number of entries shows how people like to help people they don't even know, but just know they must do It.
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