Impressions: Suspenseful and entertaining. A fresh type of tale.
Plot: A recurrent dream which bleeds into the dreamer's waking life. The end is quite a surprise.
Character development:
Angela: The main character of the tale develops strangely but appropriately. This aspect is the story's biggest strength.
Imagery: Very good. The images of the panther and the forest are especially strong. You have painted scenes in your story well.
Grammar/mechanics: This is your downfall.
*The nature still (showing) all -> shows
*An anonymous voice (whispering) -> whispers
*the voice is (becoming) clearer -> becomes
*Suddenly there’s (this) strange smell -> replace with 'a'
*Sweat (running) down all over -> runs
*panther, about 13 (foot) away -> feet
*She nods (at her) reply. replace w/ 'in'
*Hitting the highway, leaving the city far behind.
fragment. Reword as 'She hit the highway, ...'
*There’s a small town visible in the distance(,) she moves towards it. -> use a semicolon
*some evening-post newspaper(s) in front of some houses.
*A small path (leads) to the east. -> needs a verb
*Angela moves towards to what is left
*An axe (lying) on the floor. -> Fragment. replace w/ 'lay' to correct.
A good story. Without these Grammatical errors the story would earn a 4.5! I really enjoyed it as a story.
Write On!
Impressions: This work comes across with a lecturing tone. There's nothing wrong with that, but it's different.
Theme: The differences between infatuation and real love.
Imagery: Not many images are used, but the poem still accomplishes its purpose without them.
Rhyme/rhythm: A good ABCB rhyme scheme is worked throughout. The rhythm of each stanza is very good and does not cause stumbling or confusion in the read.
Meter: You may or may not have intended to use one. The poem naturally comes so close to baladic meter (alternation between 8 and 6 syllable lines) that when it deviates from this I can't help but feel distracted by it. Look closer at this idea.
This is a very enjoyable poem which shows further promise. Write On!
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Imagery: Very good. It is the dominant element used.
Rhyme/Flow: Good couplet rhyming scheme which continues throughout the work. There doesn't appear to be a true meter, but none of the lines appear too wordy or too short. The story itself moves seemlessly.
This poem was written to depict a murder to escape spousal abuse, but the abuse is mentioned too late and too briefly. It almost appears to be an afterthought.
I suggest you mention it sooner to create a reason for what happens next.
Not a bad piece. Well written! Write On!
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Theme: A historical account of a lonely world as told by a resident.
Plot: Recounting of the major events of 'here' and a possible sudden introduction to something called reading and writing.
Imagery: This area is good but could be better. A more full description of the lights might make naming them unnecessary. Also, describe the boy's arrival better. Was there a streak seen in the sky? Was there a loud noise? His sudden appearance is rather abrupt as is.
Flow: The story moves along very well. It doesn't get bogged down or slow.
I enjoyed reading this. You tell a good tale. Write On!
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Impressions: Slightly gross, mildly amusing, and amazingly true to life.
Theme: Explanation of a personal dislike of Wal-Mart.
Plot: A desciption of self which, in part, explains the theme.
Imagery: Very good. The description of the bathroom (where the brunt of the story takes place) is perfect. I especially enjoyed the acustical paralell.
I enjoyed taking the test to find out how to answer the poll. It was rather enlightening. I would never have thought of connecting an outside quiz to the poll itself. It really made me think about who I am. I was partcularly surprised to find that out of 310 votes, there are only four of me!
Impressions: a feeling of detachedness. I've been there and know it.
Theme: Feeling longing for a woman and being unable to express oneself.
Imagery: Most of these are emoitional, fitting the work. They work well to create the mood for the work. The image of the walking angel is somewhat cliche, but not poorly used.
Flow/Rhythm: Most af the work moves along well. It is only at the end that the work starts to lose its impact. The longer lines seem to drag on. The last two lines seem to contradict by wording. Use a final line that confifms instead of denies.
I enjoyed this poem! It reminded me of High school! Write on!
Impressions: Laugh out loud funny. I needed the humor.
Theme: What a cat might say if it could. In truth, I'm highly inclined to agree.
Rhyme/Rhythm: Good couplet rhyming pattern. While I know poems need not rhyme, I enjoy those that do. There is no meter, but a good rhyme aids in flow.
Imagery: Well created if unrealistic. The unrealism is the point though, no deductions here.
Spelling/grammar: just a couple common errors to correct.
while were talking about > add an apostrophe to we're.
‘No your not, your just > use you're instead of your in both cases.
minor point:
‘I have lost the plot and gone insane’
I'm not sure what this line means, especially about 'lost the plot'
I loved the poem! I've had many cats through my life and know they are not so innocent as they look. Write on!
Impressions: slightly meandering, but a definite plea
Theme: A cry for understanding from another
Flow: The piece moves along well in thought flow, but it seem to get hung up at the end of most stanzas. The subject matter is a parent's nightmare, but fairly well handled.
I see promise in this work and believe it could go a lot further. Write on!
Rhyme/Rhythm: AABB rhyme scheme is well constructed and constant. There isn't a definite meter, but the lines grow longer and shorter with perfect regularity.
Suggestion: reword final line as 'lost promises have'
I enjoyed this work. I think I've enjoyed it more than the others I've read. Write on!
Theme: Feelings that only lovers share which are unique to each relationship.
Imagery: By far this work's greatest strength. The continuing image of a journey is very strong here. There are lesser images which are also strong, but do not eclipse the core of the piece. Since all journies end, the final image of arrival is appropriate.
Rhyme/Rhythm: The ABBC rhyme scheme is constant and well written. Paring down some of the longer lines might improve the flow of this work.
I enjoyed this piece. A good piece of poetry. Write On!
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Impressions: Strong emotions. The end has a definite finality and a good deal of judgement.
Theme: A woman's final angy goodbye to a lover who has mistreated her.
Imagery: Brief but strong. They act like stepping stones rather than painting rich tableau. The strongest of course is the revolving door vs the one which is closed and locked.
Flow: Good. The final stanza is slightly choppy, but otherwise it keeps good cadence.
Impressions: I may be missing something, but the work does not seem to make the point your description suggests. It also seems too reminiscent of the classic poem 'The Road Not Taken.'
Theme: Choices we make in life along with the question: Do we really make choices?
Flow: somewhat choppy. If your lines were closer to the same length the work might have earned a higher rating. This has nothing at all to do with rhyme.
Suggestions: Use question marks where your work poses questions. Keep working!
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