you are able to infuse feeling into your poem it's more than just words=thoughts.
A couple of changes, left up to you 2decide.
1.drop the 2nd and 4th "sometimes"the point reaches the reader w/o them.
2.change 4th line to "Sometimes ...your joy is trampled at the stake of aspirations and dreams so high."
3.drop the 2nd "you lose". smart readers don't need repetition,average readers are annoyed, clueless readers don't read poetry! Great Write,keep it up.
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