Extremely beautiful, this is a really touching peace even if it may not be the most sophisticated one out there. I truly do wish in my heart that you, or the character you were portraying in this piece, could one day get that wish made true so you could do everything you stated in this poem. That, would be a true miracle everyone should push for, even if it is just a dream.
As for critique? Well, that would be simple: keep writing, I'm not sure how many poems you've made but I can be sure that you'll get better as you continue to make these. Mess around with your rhyming patterns, try to find different and more creative words and incorporate them into your writing. But, remember to always write from the heart, and don't force anything.
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