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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/venus81
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3 Public Reviews Given
4 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Fall Into My Lies  
Review by Venus
Rated: E | (5.0)
Let me just say, this is the first thing I've read by you; and I am hopelessly hooked! I love your form and style. It's so desperate, and dark. It reeks of longing and a desire to connect with people in a way that goes beyond the physical. Into the mental.

I am a little confused by the lines:

"To curious to move
To stuck in place"

Do you mean "Too" as in "too much", or "To" as in "to the store"? The way I read your poem, it should be:

"Too curious to move
Too stuck in place"

I can tell that you've put a lot of thought into your choice of words; the intention behind them. I can just picture the drafts and edits that we don't get to see. I feel carried along with you. I applaud this poem.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by Venus
Rated: E | (5.0)
I really enjoyed this article. As a new mother I could relate to the humour aspects of desiring a cleaner house but never finding the time. Unless I gave up sleep. The article flows nicely and doesn't jump around non-sensically. All ten points you make are funny. Only thing I would change would be the wording in point number six. I would change it from "microwave inside" to "inside of the microwave" to avoid any confusion. I had to stop and re-read at that point.

Also, I had no idea there was black grout. I'm gonna look into that.
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Review by Venus
Rated: E | (4.5)
Pretty funny. I'll admit, Richard Simmons is a pretty easy target, but it was still amusing. I liked the structure of the story. Very brief and straight forward. I'll admit, it made me think of Harry Potter. I'm not sure if this was your intention or not.
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