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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/williamjf
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66 Public Reviews Given
67 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of Time to Wake Up!  
Review by WilliamJF
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
The sleep paralysis is interesting. I felt this could've been written in the third-person.
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2
Review of Magrev's Mistake  
Review by WilliamJF
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
The references to history are interesting. I don't know what Chernobyl is.
3
3
Review of The Original Move  
Review by WilliamJF
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
the theme of chess is interesting and unique.
4
4
Review of The Corridor  
Review by WilliamJF
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I like the sense of clastrophobia in the end. I also like the theme of nature.
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5
Review by WilliamJF
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
I like the reference to witchcraft or wizardry.
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6
Review by WilliamJF
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I really like the theme of possession, especially the idea of possessing the dead.
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7
Review of Horror Story  
Review by WilliamJF
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
The theme of writing / literature felt a bit cliche.
8
8
Review of Snokum Joe  
Review by WilliamJF
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
The theif's casual behavior after the paranormal event is funny, as well as his thoughts on the next tomb.
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9
Review by WilliamJF
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I like the baseball references and theme. The early descriptions of the battle, like "explosions rained concrete and glass," are my favorite.
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10
Review by WilliamJF
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
The reference to Odin is interesting. I like the traditional / folklore setting or exposition.
11
11
Review of The Scream  
Review by WilliamJF
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I like the sense of betrayal. I also like her description of being ice cold to touch.
12
12
Review of Intent  
Review by WilliamJF
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
The theme of discrimination is interesting and insightful.
13
13
Review of The strange man  
Review by WilliamJF
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I felt this story could've been formed into paragraphs. The theme of sadism is insightful.
14
14
Review of Dad  
Review by WilliamJF
Rated: E | (5.0)
I like the familial setting. I felt the story could've been focused more on the relationship between Michael and the dead.
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15
Review by WilliamJF
Rated: E | (5.0)
I like the theme of vision, especially its figurative interpretation, "It's time to see for yourself." I also like the detail to nature, especially of the snowbird and its effect on the son.
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16
Review by WilliamJF
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I felt the literature theme was a bit cliche or redundant. Your descriptions of Cameron's actions and feelings, in the final few paragraphs are interesting, especially those similar to being possessed.
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17
Review of Transformation  
Review by WilliamJF
Rated: E | (5.0)
The transformation into a fish-like creature is interesting. I like the strong sense of demise in the last few sentences. I felt the story title could've been different.
18
18
Review of Plumber's Crack  
Review by WilliamJF
Rated: E | (5.0)
The stories relation to recent events is interesting. I like your description of the plumber.
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19
Review of The Letter  
Review by WilliamJF
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Walter's obsession with glory is humorous. The reference to Cerberus is interesting.
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20
Review by WilliamJF
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Your details of the combat is interesting, especially with comparisons to weapons like "sledgehammer" and "pitbull's jaws." I like how the predator-prey situation was reversed.
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21
Review of Samosa and Gwyll  
Review by WilliamJF
Rated: E | (5.0)
I laughed when the wraith would go backwards because of Tash's breath. I didn't understand how a knife could harm a ghost-like entity. I like your attention to the description of food.
22
22
Review by WilliamJF
Rated: E | (5.0)
The title could've been different and I'm not sure why the character's have full names for such a short story. I like the sense of mystery throughout the piece, especially with the questions in the beginning. I like your description of electricity in the first paragraph, especially as an invisible force.
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23
Review of Hell's Front Door  
Review by WilliamJF
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I like the Halloween setting.
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24
Review of Cars  
Review by WilliamJF
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
The reference to controlled substances in the third sentence is interesting. The forecast of the main character's death is especially horrific.
25
25
Review of The Building  
Review by WilliamJF
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I like your attention to environmental details. I like the image of the city engulfed in pure darkness. I also like the paragraph detailing the encounter. In the sentence, "Looking even closer, I noticed something which sent a chill along my spin," did you mean "spine" instead of "spin?"
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