Your details are really good. I can really visualize a mental picture. It was not boring at ALL to read. You should continue this writing further. It is really touching to read. You do not have too much detail or too much imagery. Everything is just right. Great job, I really enjoyed. =)
If you wanted to make it stronger you could use a broader use of vocabulary. Its really good and I like your message. Its easy for the reader to understand your meaning.
I love how you made it creative. It keeps the person interested in your "song." I really like the rhyming scheme. Good job with punctuation and looking forward to the next COWlifornia song. =)
I like how you put your heart and possible real life experiences into your writing. You should put some more imagery into it. I love your beginning line. It really capures the reader and keeps you interested.
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