thanks for sharing this walk with you and your grand daughter. It is a delight to think that three year old's still enjoy dandelion picking as much now as they did when I was three!
I feel that the writer in me wants you to definitely leave the stroller at home and tell us more about your walks with Lexi!
thanks for sharing this story with us here on WDC. I enjoyed reading this article though should confess to not having a muse as such though know many writers who do have them. I like how you drew equations between the feelings a muse gives to a writer to intersting things like ice cream in a waffle cone with no spoon allowed. I particularly enjoyed the idea of having muses in the farmers market! What a neat and original idea.
Hi Mudd,
thanks for sharing your poem with us here at WDC. I did enjoy the flicker through images that this poem presents and must confess to liking the originality of the first line of the last stanza most of all. I like the staggered appearance of the poem and think the style suits the topic very well.
I really enjoyed this poem of yours. You have some very interesting turns of phrase and imagery within it, though there is a little too much cliche as well. The only suggestion I can make is that you do not need to capitalise every line in poetry, only the lines that start new sentences within the lines.
Hi John,
I like this story very much. It is an iteresting take on the theme of god and the devil. I am wondering if you have ever read Peter Ustinov's novel "The Old Man and Mr Smith." I think if you haven't yet it would be worth your while tracking down a copy and reading it. It too is a good story on the theme of god and the devil.
There are some typos in the story but overall it is easy to overlook them and stay with the storyline. I really liked the trick doors and though that was a difficult scene to write and you handled it well.
thanks for sharing your poem with us at WDC. I enjoyed your poem and like the simile of people being like splinters of glass, it is original and I like poems with original similes.
Your poem is nicely presented and I like how you have capitalised only the start of each new sentence rather than the start of each new line.
thanks for sharing your short story with us at WDC. I do enjoy stories with a difference and ones that let the reader into the secret higways and biways of the characters mind (makes me think of the off-beat movie Being John Malcovich).
This story is a bit too repetitive. I understand that people do actually think in this way. I certainly do from time to time, however, in a story I think the repetition serves to annoy the reader rather than entertain. The story tends to feel like you are filling a word count requirement by the time the reader is half way through.
thanks for sharing your poem with us here at WDC. You have chosen a well cliched topic to write about in this poem. To write successfully and originally about a cliche topic mean you as the poet need to give us the readers something new and fresh to read. This is not always an easy task but can be accomplished by personalising the content so that the reader feels they have met you in the poem.
thanks for sharing your poem with us at WDC. I am guessing by the content and themes of your poems that you are a young writer and as such I would like to encourage you to keep writing and keep working on learning the art and craft of poetry.
Do remember to keep paper copies of all of the poems and other creative writing that you do these will become more important as you continue to develop your skills.
Of all of your works you have posted so far this is by far the best and I did enjoy it.
Thanks for sharing this poem with us here on WDC. As a keen reader and reviewer of poetry I had hoped there would be something more specific about the dragon's hunt in your poem. This poem sounds more like just an introduction to an idea rather than a full idea on its own.
The repetition through the poem does not work for me as a reader and I would suggest that you rewrite this poem with the theme of hunting more fully thought out and demonstrated in the poem.
This poem is clever and fun. The joy of returning to childish things is all too often lost on us grownups. Thanks for a pleasant read! Fairies still delight me and their wonderful antics bring a smile to my face!
It is a difficult task to write such a lengthy story in poetry form. Carrying rhythms throughout can be difficult and seldom are perfect so although your poem skips the rhythm a little here and there as a writer I would not be concerned about that too much. One line that stood out as being in need of help was the last line of the seventh stanza. Take a lok at it and you will see what I mean.
Hi Nicole,
thanks for sharing your poem with us on WDC. You have chosen a very hard topic to write anything in an original way. Past hurts are a very common theme in poetry and as a result it seems everyone who writes poetry has written a poem about them. Try to make your poem stand above other such poems by giving the reader something new and something interesting to read. Perhaps you can personalise this by giving your audience just a little peek at what the pain is that you write about.
Hi Prufrock,
I really like this poem. It is a raw insight into the experience of scattering ashes of a loved one. I couldeasily see the images in my minds eye and felt close to the scatterer while wondering about the aunt.
I think the second stanza gives an added insight into the connectivity of humabeings which I relate to very well.
thanks for sharing your poetry with us. I like this poem but feel you could have maybe made it better by letting the reader into a bit of a secret of how they can take control of their life and move on. I kind of felt the poem needed an answer so to speak.
Stars,
Wow I really like the honesty and rawness of this poem. I can also remember feeling and thinking those same things when I was in school ( a long time ago now).
I think your poem would have more strength if you used the words "I" and "I've" a lot less.
I'd like to encourage you to keep writing and keep your writing honest like this. It is refreshing to see someone so upfront.
henri,
Hi, thanks for sharing this poem. I really do like this poem. The first stanza is brilliant. You have really captured the meaning of the day in your poem. The only correction I can suggest is that 'alter' should be altar'. Thanks for a great read.
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