I'm really starting to feel this story, it kind of reminds me of Charmed a little bit. You really did a good job setting the scene, especially when Kristy was able to vanquish the warlock without any prior knowledge of the craft at all. I'm also interested to see how her power will grow later on in the story.
Its definently worth continuing, especially since I'll die if i dont find out the rest of the story. You really do a great job of keeping people in suspense about whatever could possibly happen in the next part of the story. Keep Up the good work! I'll be reading.
This is a very powerful piece of poetry. The powerful use of imagery vividly conveys the horrid experiences that Lisa endured quite well. She does a good job showing how painful thses experiences were. As to whether there are hidden clues within this piece, I do not know, but she is definently intelligent enough to make those clues as I cannot find any.
In this haiku you have said so much with so little words. You add powerful modifiers in order to add a sense of reality to this poem making it even more inspiring. Even those who don not know what a moon bud looks like may still feel inspired by the blissful atmosphere this poem provides.
This is a very unique and interesting haiku that you have created. You seem to be combining four nature haikus together to make an intriguing twist. together, your words weave a creative picture within the mind of the reader. This is an inspiriing poem to anyone who admires nature.
Pattern/Rhythm: The peom has no recognizable pattern such as pi or haiku, but it flows well and uses powerful words showing strong qualities.
Meaning: The meaning of this poem is the dedication to your father. You reveal powerful characteristics such as "unshakeable pride." Showing how inspirational he is to you, helps us to see him as you do, a great man. You even tell of some of his words of advice he has given you.
Additional Comments: This is a powerful poem which could help to stop anyone from taking their father for granted.
Pattern/Rhythm: In this poem you wonderfully executed the pi form of poetry.
Meaning: This poem has a strong passion giving offense to anyone who is completely in support of society's methods. However, the poem sends out a powerful message that nobody should ignore.
Pattern/Rhythm: Although you use a simple ABC style poem, the words within the poemn give powerful vision so as anyone who reads this will see the words come to life.
Meaning: In this poem you show how, just as a bird is traped within a cage, someone can be trapped by love, or rather a "relationship". Yet unlike a bird, he or she can escape from entrapment.
Additional Comments: This is a good poem for inspiring those who need advice on love.
First Impression: This is a great way to allow you readers to get to know the real you in a way other than in your writing.
Opinion: Even just by showing merely a few aspects of what you like, you allow us to make good inferences about what kind of person you could be, what we have in common. you personal heroes alos say a lot for what kind of person you truly are as well.
Extra: I really enjoyed reading this peace and I think I would enjoy getting to know you and your writing.
Plot: You did an excellent job portraying how skeptic the society in the story was about short skirts. You also used an excellent use of irony when at the end, everyone was wearing short skirts, while Nancy wore a long one.
you could make the story better by exploring Nancy's perspective of the situation, because the story is only seen through the eyes of the main character and is a bit biased.
Scene: The scene is not focused on very much, but as this is a short story, that is not too important.
Character Development: like I said before, characterdevelopment is not very crucial in such a short story.
Grammar: St. Mary's Catholic School(capitalize school)
genuine "Southern Belle"(suggesttion to put Southern Belle in quotes since its exactly what he called her)
Just My Personal Opinion: This is a really interesting short story with a simple plot holding an underlying meaning.
This sounds like a great way to fans of the show "Amazing Race". Its also a good way to find people that you have reality tastes in common with. This is also an excellent way to see if your suspiscions are correct about who will win, place , and show.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1132075 by Not Available.
First off, in chapter one it says in the grime- covered windows. The hyphen is unneccesary. Second,and disintegrating,green,velvet drapes.The comma after disintegrating is not needed.
Comments: Although I only read the first chapter, I can tell that this will be a great story. You words really make the image come to life as if I was really there during the storm. I hop I can rad more next time.
Your spelling mistakes are in rose. Punctation and Grammar are in plum. And comments are in indigo.
Spelling Mistakes: none that I can find
Punctuation and Grammar: This is a poem so I don't think there are any here
Comments: You have got a very excellent poem that vividly describes the tensions and emotions and pains that were created due to the impact of such a significant event. You really show well how intense this was at the moment that it happened. Well written, continue to write. This is a really great piece of poetry, which is why I gave it a perfect score.
Spelling Errors: None that I can find Punctuation and Grammar Errors: none since this is a poem Other Comments: First off, I like how you used the color tags in order to represent the different aspects of nature. This poem gets to its point of telling of nature's power in its rawest forms. It explains well how the power of nature could destroy the world as we know it.
First of all, this is anexcellent poem. The format where it asks qusetions makes it more presentable. Its about the risk of revealing yourself conflicting with the unfulfillingness with remaining within your comfort zone. Yet a problem we struggle with is being comfortable with who we really are. We hold ourselves back sometimes to fit in, but we should strive to be individually the best.
I like how informative this piece is.It starts by warning people of the fact that the information at the websites may not be as accurate as if reading a book or going to multiple websites.I also like how you used CSI as an example to make it easier to understand.
This is quite a poemIt shows great imagery.and the main concept of the poem is related to something familiar to all people.A dream is an excellent reference because it helps the readers notice that like a dream "you came to me" and like a dream 'you went away"Keep on writing.
I truly love the way you personify death into a living,breathing creature-or perhaps there is an angel of death.You show how the cunning ways of this angel can lure any person into this trap of deception and trickery.I love how you let the rhythm flow.
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/wordwizard09
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.26 seconds at 6:27am on Apr 26, 2024 via server web2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
