Silver Purse

Max was a young man. He was 21 and unemployed, which meant he had a lot of time on his hands.
One fine magical Monday morning, Max decided to write a letter to his pen pal and long term girlfriend, Polly. Halfway through it, he thought to himself, 'Sod it, I'll visit her' as he had never seen her before. Polly could have been a parrot for all Max knew, but he fell in love with her after 2 long letters.
So, the next morning, Max packed his bags, which contained 3 packets of mint viscount and pyjamas, then pumped air into the tyres of his scootex and set off for a long journey, whilst listening to The Dave Clark Five on his Goodmans Walkman.
Two days later, when Max arrived in Didsbury where Polly lives, he stopped to ask a man the time. He asked, "Have you got the time please?" "F*ck off" came the reply from the man he had asked, but Max failed to hear him anyway as he failed to remove his headphones. "Thank you" said Max and sped off.
As he continued his search for Polly's house, he came across a phone box. It was a tall red one, with smashed windows and whores phone numbers inside. He unzipped the pocket of his ice white jacket and pulled out of it a ten penny piece. He dialled Polly's number, shaking like a fool with nerves. "Hello" said a sexy voice on the other end of the receiver. "Hi" said Max, "Is that you Polly?" "No, I'm Polly's father" replied the sexy voice. "But I'll get her for you". "Hello" said Polly. "Hiya Polly, it's Max here and I'm on my way to see you so put the kettle on". "Ok" replied Polly, "we'll all have tea".
Twenty minutes later Max arrived at Polly's house. He parked his Scootex in the pebbled driveway and very nervously walked up to the envelope brown coloured door and tapped on it, again, like a fool. A voice shouted, "Come in" so Max walked in and shouted Polly. He then turned round to find her stood there, and as sure as the sky is blue, Polly was indeed a Parrot. She gave Max a peck on the cheek and said, "Who's a pretty boy then?"
Max's face dropped, for he couldn't believe his own eyes. However, he was cock sure it was love at first sight. Max said, "I can't believe you're a parrot, yet I'm so in love with you". Polly laughed and said, "You're my lover Max" to which he replied, "Yes, and you're my bird".