New Year Resolutions

In the dim and distant past I never had a problem with New Year resolutions. “I resolve, this year to give up smoking” was the mantra I chanted out every first of January for twenty something years. I did it eventually, not so much by personal resolve but with the help of a kindly avuncular gentleman who told me to relax and one half hour later I found myself a non-smoker. I have tried unsuccessfully to find him since for, as the nicotine level diminished, the alcohol level increased and I now find it difficult to have a meal without a glass, or two, of wine. Unfortunately my resolve is as poor now as it was then.

Strange isn’t it – the beginning of a New Year equals the turning over of a new leaf. Why? If in mid July you decide to stop kicking the cat you don’t wait until January to cease, and if one spring day, you make the decision to be kinder to your spouse and more helpful in the house, you do it then and there – or at least you should. So why, each year do we hear “And what are your resolutions?” We are being made to feel guilty for not deciding to alter our habits / lifestyle / personalities. Do people, mid December start worrying about what facet of themselves they are going to change two weeks later? Of course not, but then no-one looks forward to doing things they are told are good for them. That’s the problem with good resolutions - we don’t really want them. Now if, for instance, I decided that I was going to eat a box of cookies a day for the rest of my life, would I put this new regime on hold until January? …… Would you ?

And this is why more New Years Eve resolutions broken than kept. The whole idea needs to be turned on its head. Promise yourselves the nice things, not the things that you are told are good for. The man who says that next year he will take an expensive holiday or take up gambling or have sex more often is far more likely to keep his resolve than not - especially if he decides on all three. I, personally am resolving to do a parachute jump, have massage on a regular basis and, as a sop to conventionality, visit the gym on a more regular basis. I may well add to that, and take a greater interest in others, drink a better class of wine and put some sugar in my coffee.

And why not? Life is about enjoyment. The good book speaks of a life span of three score years and ten – now in civilisations second millennium that’s nothing. Out there, as we all know, are septuagenarians enjoying themselves. They don’t bother with the Sunday supplements telling them what and when to eat certain food, how often to brush their teeth, exfoliate or exhale. They have been doing it for seventy years or more and are hale, hearty and one hell of as lot more adventurous than the generation that not only preceded them but also followed them.

The phrase “everything in moderation” is bandied about as if it were written in the gospels whereas “life’s too short, enjoy yourselves” is rarely heard. We, as readers of this magazine, are all mature adults who have lived a full and useful life. So why should we hold back. We have been brainwashed from an early age as this example will show. A while ago I took my ninety year old father to the supermarket for his weekly food shop. At the checkout my conditioning kicked in and without thinking I criticised him for buying a deep-fried something or other. On hearing this, the cashier interrupted saying that at his age he should be allowed whatever he wished. She was of course, quite right and I wrong. But since, I have seen the light and am a changed man. Let the others be the stick in the muds, the party poopers and the holier-than-thous. Let them give up their pleasures in the name of sobriety. Let them be of stiff upper lip and straight of back, long in face and down in mouth. Let us stand up, be counted and revolt against these conventions. It’s easy, forget losing that extra weight, ignore those bitten nails, throw away the shackles and enjoy yourselves. Resolve to make yourself happier – you know it makes sense.