You'll Never Know

You’ll never know in a million years
How you affect my heart and stay my tears.
It’s a thought in my head trying to form a word
But no matter how hard I try, it’ll never be heard.
And it’s there all the time – every minute of the day
And I try to show it in my subtle way
But your eyes aren’t attuned to the simple gestures I make
So they float silently past you like a feather on a lake.

You’ll never know the world I see
Locked in my head without a key.
It’s not always soft as it takes its turns
‘cause reality exists there – in my thoughts it burns.
It’s placed a brand on me that won't ever go away
It wants to be explored more, so into the unconscious I stray.
And the abilities I seek are available to any man
It’s just a matter of wanting and a knowing hand.

You’ll never know the pain I feel
That sets in my gut cold as steel -
A heavy weight that I must bear
But I’ll gladly carry my apportioned share.

You’ll never know the joy I feel
When it appears in the mirror – a glimpse of the real.
A joke to many who don’t believe
And it is for them that I must grieve.
But like Narnia, the song is sung
That has no origin and is never done.

You’ll never know the sadness I feel
When everybody tells me it won't be real.
A battle against them is not what I need
But it’s off of them that I do feed –
I don’t want them to go –
I ask them to leave…
Right now I don’t know what to believe.

This reality and that are so much the same,
Only one is just a humorless game.

You’ll never know the fondness I have
Of your strength and courage along this path.
Many a thought goes your way –
Every hour of every day.

You’ve changed my life and helped me see
Just how open and real that love can be
In a world that’s dark with only fight,
That feeling used to be so right.
It adds to the confusion of this simple mind
How life can be left so undefined.

You’ll never know the warmth that comes
Along with your presence.
Along with the sun.
It rests its gentle hand upon my cheek
And gives me the peace that I always seek.
Methuselah’s Gift to the world up here –
A beautiful stone to be kept very near.
It’s always hard to be alone –
But I must go. You’ve dropped the stone.
The ripples it created set me adrift
And yet you ask for that simple gift.
But now it can't be given – I’m as cold as snow.
It’s a gift from me you’ll never know.