A walk Through Despair

A walk Through Despair

There was a day not to long ago when the world shifted into a new reality for me. I had found the love of my lifetime three years ago, for me there was no one else. I knew we were soul mates, we laughed and played and enjoyed what seemed like every waking moment together. Then one day she woke up and was gone from my life.

The minutes ran into hours then ran into days. The sleepless nights seemed to last an eternity. Finally reaching what seemed like the deepest pits of depression, I found some internal strength and began to climb out of that dark hole. To this day I do not know where it came from or how I found it, but I grabbed onto it with everything I had. Every day I would awake in the morning and grab one more positive thought and pile that onto the last good thought. The past hurt, which was like a scalpel cutting into my chest, is now merely a dull pain. The Memories that would keep me awake staring at the sky at night were now just flashes of pictures in the back of my mind. The horrible dreams that would awaken me in the middle of the night now turned to pleasant things that soothed my rest.

Now I have looked at myself long and hard. Why did this happen, what could have been different. I have used this to better myself. I have begun a rigged workout program; I have lost forty pounds since. I have started going to school again; I am going for my masters. I have a new band and we are now playing shows every weekend. I have made many new friends and reacquainted myself with some old ones.

Life is good now, probably better then it has ever been. It is strange how sometimes you have to walk through the deepest pits of despair, and search the worst parts of your being to find the strength that you need to change as a person. I look back on my life with her and I now have fond memories of all the good times. I have stories that I can talk about with my friends of good times we had. And for me I am now a stronger person who is once again ready to take on the world.