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Rated: E · Other · Writing · #1184379
This text is an exercise in efficiency.
I've been playing with fiction lately and will likely be adding some of my less than spectacular works online. I don't know why anyone would care, but they're here anyway.

This text is an exercise in efficiency. I wondered how few words could I use to tell a story. I started with a longer (259 words) work and pared it down to 153 words but I had to change the story a little bit. Then, I took it down to 49 words and was able to keep the same story as the 153 word version. It's a trite story, but that's not the point...

Other World (Short)
The signal, it was determined, was from another planet. Obviously, this was astonishing news mostly because nearly everyone had come to assume that we were the sole inhabitants of the vast universe. Now this assumption seemed juvenile. After several years, the translation of the signal had been nearly completed. The transmission seemed to be missing some pieces but it had described the planet as having substantial water and plant and animal life. The transmission also included some instructions as to the planet's location. When the scientists turned their telescopes to that region of space, they observed a multi-planet system with a single star in the center. But none of the measurements indicated that any of the planets were wet. After much analysis, it was decided that in the long span of time from when the signal was sent to when it was received, the planet had deteriorated and lost the ability to sustain life. For years our society has held a sort of day of remembrance on the anniversary of the day we first received the signal. On this day, we pause to consider the civilization that once existed on that planet and to remind ourselves how important it is to take care of our own planet and each other. Up until now, we have not known the name of the planet and simply referred to it as the “Other World.” Scientists hadn't been able to translate the planet's name until recently. For that reason, beginning this year, the day of remembrance has been renamed, “Earth Memorial Day.”[259 words]

Other World (Shorter)
We received a signal from another planet. Knowing that there was another advanced civilization out there made the rest of the universe seem more important and our planet seemed to become a part of something. We became proud of our world and began debating which of the wonderful things about our planet we wanted to communicate to the other world. In the meantime, our scientists trained their instruments to the region of space from which the signal originated. They continued to listen. The original transmission described their planet as being green with plant life and wet. Much like our own planet. No other signals have been received. No planet with an atmosphere had been observed with the instruments. Is the planet gone? How long ago was the signal sent? Is it too far away to detect? Will we ever get to see or communicate with the people of the planet they call “Earth”? [153 words]

Other World (Shortest)
Signal from space. We're not alone? How do we describe ourselves to them? Years pass and no other signals received. We continue to send messages to them. Are they afraid to respond? Do they still exist? Will we ever communicate with the people from the planet they call “Earth”? [49 words]
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