in the morning, we are different.

such a beautiful boy i could never never see for what he was or what he meant
i feel like driftwood, says she
do you think of me like that?
and it's fear but he says
i think you're like sand
that's been struck by lightning. sometimes the world isn't flat enough and maybe my head spins with it.

he dreams of scary things, burning books and breaking heads
he says i'll beat you until you're better
happy are we happy are we
i'll beat you until we are i smiled and said goodnight lover boy we're perfectly alone with each other and as long as you can sleep at night i'll stay by your side
plant your seeds in my face until your flowers burst through in the place where my hair used to grow and my mouth used to be
you won't have to look at me anymore you won't have to hear me speak
you drew a line across my legs and said you keep everything to yourself
and me
there's nobody else
do you understand?
i sat in a chair curled up like i had been wrong my breasts fell out of purple satin like staying up too late
you stood on the other side of the kitchen saying
you are my shining star.
i said "i am everyone's shining star.
i can be held jusy tightly enough
you pick me out of the sky and i press at your fingertips and hair spills out of the cracks in your fists.
let time use us
spoken at the windowsill and you spoke of high tide
mist fell on my face and i bit my lips in anger of how good it must have felt when i was awake
then night dropped
stars popped out and pushed my head through the pinholes in your pillowcase

take your last breath dollygirl you said take your last breath