What is love?

As Gary walked out I felt my heart get wrenched out of my body, my soul collapsed in a heap, I knew this time it'd take a lot to get over all the pain, somehow I'd have to do it, I can't go on being hurt like this.

He was my first boyfriend; we'd been together for 9 years, but near enough every year, he'd walk out and say he was never coming back. It'd only take him one drunken night to realise that he ‘missed me' and realise he'd made a ‘terrible mistake'. This time I thought it would be exactly the same, until I met Chris, he was a colleague at work who I never really noticed until he walked into my office when I was in floods of tears. He seemed to understand me from that one moment, and know every way to help.

We hit it off immediately, I mean it took me about 6 months to get over Gary because of the length of time I'd been with him, and the fact that this time he wasn't coming back, or even if he did try, I was determined not to let him, I'm not letting him turn me into an emotional wreck again. I mean I suppose at times he was the most caring guy you could ever imagine; I always had a bunch of flowers in the dining room from him. Although when we had been together for about 5 years, he came home drunk, and hit me. That's when our relationship changed; it was never going to be the same again. I loved him too much to leave him, and when he kept walking out I knew I had to have him back. I guess that was my own fault.

On the 16th July Chris invited me out to dinner, to celebrate being together for 2 years. I can remember the day so well, because I spent all day pampering myself and treating myself to the most expensive treatments going. I felt on top of the world that day, and when it turned 7 o'clock the doorbell rang and the butterflies in my tummy were working on overtime. I could feel my heart pounding through my chest, I kept telling it to calm down, it was only a first date, nothing would come of it, and I knew that, at least I thought I did. As I opened the door I dropped my bag to the floor.

"You're not Chris!" I screamed in horror.

"No I'm not love, it's nice to know you recognise me." Said the mystery person.

"Go away Gary, I don't want you here." I protested, he was too strong for me.

"You've always wanted me and you know it." Gary said as he pushed past me and laid himself on the sofa.

He smelt like alcohol, and he'd gained weight and a beard, but I still knew it was him. The manner in which he talked to me made me feel sick, I was over this guy, at least I thought I was. He beckoned me over to the sofa, I sat down next to him, making sure I didn't make eye contact with him. He made himself a drink and handed me one, I knew if I didn't take it he'd force me, so I took it and said thank you. I asked him why he was here and he said that he missed me, typical. He'd dated another girl and knew that she wasn't the one for him, I was.

For a drunk, he looked quite sad at this, I felt pity for him. I looked in his eyes and told him straight that he had his chance. I shouldn't have looked in his eyes, because as soon as I did, the chemistry between us just exploded. He knew that would happen, he took my hand and looked me right in the eyes.

"I still love you." He murmured.

I had to fight off my feelings, I was going to be late for Chris, wait, I was already late for Chris. "I know you do, but my feelings for you ended when you walked out that door."

"I regret it, it's you I want, it's always been you, and you should know that." His voice got softer and quieter.

He was being genuine, I didn't know what to do, of course I still loved him, and I'm just going to let my heart take over.

He kissed me, and I didn't push him off me, I'd missed his kisses, it'd been 3 years since I'd had one, so it was like an electric spark passed through his lips into mine, it was heavenly, all thoughts of Chris just vanished. I kissed him back when he stopped, he knew he'd succeeded in winning me back, I knew it too, but at this moment I didn't really care, I was letting the passion take over. I looked over to the door, seeing it was open it made the risk of kissing my ex so much more exhilarating.

The passion took over and one thing led to another, as you could expect. Just as we were lying in bed I heard a voice shout for me,

"Baby where are you? You didn't show up to dinner." It was Chris, he sounded, adorable.

This can't be happening I told myself. I was lying in bed with my ex with my current boyfriend approaching the bedroom door, it was too late to move because he'd still of noticed. The door handle turned and as he stepped in, his mouth fell, Gary grinned and laughed. I lied there in shock, I didn't know what to do, I was stuck.

"What... I thought he... we... were together?" Chris stuttered, on the verge of crying.

"I'm so sorry." I got up and went to hug him. "I didn't expect this to happen, he just showed up, and the attraction between us was too strong."

"Don't touch me, don't ever talk to me again, I really loved you, I thought so highly of you, how wrong I was." Chris said, turning round, dropping something on the floor and walking out.

I picked up what was on the floor, it was an engagement ring. I felt like such a horrible person. I looked at Gary, he looked so smug.

"Would you ever commit to me?" I asked.

"No, I don't love you that much sweet cakes." He chuckled.

"Get out. This was a mistake. GET OUT!" I screamed at him.

As he got dressed and walked out I breathed a sigh of relief, and then realised what had happened between me and Chris. I threw on the nearest clothes and ran out the door, the ring in hand. I was hoping he'd still be in the apartment block, and I turned down the 5th set of stairs, there he was, sitting on the floor, tears streaming down his face.

"I'm so sorry, I feel terrible, I don't love him and I shouldn't of done what I did, I love you and I always will, I have no room in my heart for him anymore, he's such an idiot and I should of noticed quicker. Will you ever forgive me for what I've done to you?" I pleaded... now I was crying.

"Of course I'll forgive you, I love you so much, you're the only girl for me and you know that. Gary is such a manipulative person and I know how hard it is to resist that, I just want you to promise something to me, never ever do that again." Chris stood up and looked me deep in the eyes as he spoke, as if he was looking straight into my soul.

"Never." I dropped to one knee, presented the ring and laughed, "I know you bought the ring, and it's a girls ring, but I want to know, will you marry me?" Sweat was now running down my back, it was cold.

"You daft woman, I was going to ask that." Chris looked at me and nodded.

"I take that as a yes." I grinned so much I thought my cheeks were going to fall off.

"Of course."

Chris slid the ring onto my finger and we embraced, I knew now, that he was the only man for me. After treating him as badly as I did, I knew this was love. He was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.