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Rated: E · Essay · Spiritual · #1426678
I know why I was born just not long time ago.
  I had many activities to be a good Buddhism person.  However, I don't know that actually, Buddhism is not only to give money and other necessity stuff to the monks or to the other poorer people.  Actually, Buddhism is to give a chance to you to learn and to understand the mind. 

I am a type of person who is logical, but sensitive.  Therefore, many tidy things that passed to me always governed over my brain and thinking.  I was a considerate person; thinking seems to be my habit.  Many times of my days especially on the working days, I could not pass it over but always hang around my brain over night.  I had the bad sleeping nights since I was young.  The pressure from the work, the people and interaction among people tend to be my big deal that I had to spend the night time thinking about them.  I always pray the Lord Buddha, spending over 40 minutes a day on the lessons.  I gave the food to the monk's bowl once a week in the past.  I also did a lot of merits to release my pressure.  Anyway, that seems not the right cause and effect of me.  Until one day, my friend took me to join a 5 day course of meditation lesson.  It is the heart of the Buddhist practice.  From day 1 until day 5, I learned and collected the real fact and knowledge about Buddhism.  I got the right answer of being the good Buddhism person.  The activities that I did in the past, such as giving foods and money to the monks, giving money to the poor, support many non-profit organizations, etc. are the part that is called material worship.  Actually, the Lord Buddha taught us that the heart of Buddhism is the practicing worship.  That is to meditate in the Buddhist way.  What is it?  It is to meditate with consciousness of the mind.  Every breath that we take in and out must be aware.  Thinking is the part of mind mixture that would bring about the fantasy result or wrong understanding, especially about the behavior of people that we have to interact.  I clearly understand that the problem about bad nights that I could not sleep came from my confusing mind that always help to paint the story and always create depression to myself.   

It has been 2 years and a quarter that I realize this real fact.  I have been practicing meditation since that time.  At present, I am peaceful, patient, and positive thinking.  I already throw away the thinking habit that I always do it.  Instead, I like to analyze why I feel it that way using the knowledge from the four noble truths of Buddhism to find out the solution to the cause.  I accept that as a Thai person, it is quite late for me to understand the hard core of the Buddhism.  But when I realize it, I feel very happy to have this new life.  I am proudly to be Buddhist.  I have to thank you to the family and our culture and environment that I could be around with Buddhism and it shows its way correctly.   

My intention is I have to give the right understanding about the practicing worship to those who are Buddhist.  It can help them getting out of the sorrow and being consciousness.  This is the goal of being the Buddhist.
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