sick in the head stuff

Did you know that I could be the next best cook or how about the greatest painter author that ever lived. How many ads tell me daily that I'm needed, I'm so needed!
Can't be motivated? Well, how about if you buy the next self help, positive thinking tapes that we all need to help us get to know the real person inside? Dang, if I could just get to know the real me, then I would surely know how to navigate this life better.
OK, so I just read every book, took every class, ran the mile, hiked the highest mountain, swam in the ocean and relaxed on the beach, but alas I still feel like I'm just a little speck of nothingness floating around in the big sky waiting for the last days to accomplish my destruction.