The Beach (part 1)

The Beach

I find myself standing in complete darkness. I’m not sure where I am or what to think of the dark, but it is absolute and thick. Almost as if it’s alive. I hesitantly step forward not exactly sure if it is safe for me to move. Really I just hope I’m not about to step off a cliff. I’m relieved when my foot hits the solid ground.

My steps begin to grow quicker. I want to get out of that darkness fast as possible. It feels as though the already too thick air is getting thicker and closing in on me. For no logical reason, I begin to run and I don’t stop for a long time. The ground gets softer as I travel from hard dirt earth to sand. Am I getting near a beach? Seconds later that question is answered as I catch sight of a small glowing light in the thick fog and the scent of sea salt carried by the warm breeze. The ground becomes soft and more difficult to walk on as the distance between the glowing light and me closes.
The faint voices in my ear have gone quiet. I stop walking and listen getting more worried as the silent seconds pass. I inhale and hold it thinking that maybe I just can’t hear them over my breathing. But my mom’s voice is gone. My heart begins thudding harder and I stumble backwards.

<i>-don't know how much more I can take.</i>

I let out a sigh of relief. Her voice is back. I stay quiet listening to the sound of her voice.

<i>How did you sleep last night, sweetheart?</i>

<i>I didn't.</i>

So Jaime is with her.

<i>My poor boy.</i>

I feel the faintest ghostly touch on my forehead as my mom brushes my bangs to the side. Though I can barely feel it, I know it is her. I stand there for a long time just listening to Mom talk to my little brother. Every so often I feel a soft rustling on my head and I know she is the one touching my hair.

After several minutes my eyes focus back on the glowing light in the distance. I take a step toward it again and immediately the voices and the rustling vanish. Stepping back again both return. Apparently, if I want to go any farther I have to leave my mom and Jaime behind. I can always come back. My curiosity is too strong and taking a step again into the fog toward the light, I leave my mother's voice behind.

As I get closer to the light I realize it’s a giant bonfire. Several silhouettes circle the fire, some sitting and some standing. All of them are completely silent and entranced by the giant flames reaching to get out of the fog. All but one person, who is talking. The words begin to take on meaning as I near them. He is telling them all a story.

“-and then I left the voices behind and came here. There were only two others then,” the guy continues, “Neither is here anymore.”

I am only a little bummed that I didn’t get to hear his story but I don’t say anything.
“What happened to them?” A dark haired girl who looks my age asks him.

He looks at her with a hint of a smile on his boyish face. “They got up, walked out toward the ocean, like zombies, and never came back,” the guy stares through the fog in the direction that the sound of the waves is coming from.

When he turns back toward the fire his eyes catch mine.

“Hi,” he greets with a bleached surfer white smile. “I’m Jackson.”

“I’m Cody,” I whisper.

I’ve never been one for speaking in front of a crowd. Especially one where every curious eye is on me.

"Wanna sit and hang with us?" Jackson asks me.

He seems friendly enough. All these kids look about as confused as I am. Silently, I walk over and sit down on a rock next to the only person I have heard speak.

"I'm Alie," she says with a pretty smile.

I smile back.

"So why did they leave?" Another boy asks.

He looks to be only just entering high school.

"I don't know, Nathan," Jackson replies thoughtfully running a hand through his sandy, blonde hair.

"I have a theory," this tall, lanky guy wearing a beanie announces.

We all look at him.

"Go ahead, Dylan," Jackson mutters sitting down.

"What if," he stands up, "we were all chosen for an experiment."

The girls groan. I count two of them.

"What do you mean?" Nathan asks hiking his sleeves up to his elbows.

"Well, maybe there's like, something that ties us all together. Like there's something similar in all of us that that no one else has and then while we were sleeping they snuck into our room..."

Now everyone around me groans.

"You read a lot of science fiction, don't you, Dylan?" A Hawaiian girl smirks.

Dylan sits back down and shoves his hands in his pockets. "Well, it's just a theory," he mutters.

"Not a very good one," the Hawaiian girl scoffs.

"I was only kidding. You got a better one?" Dylan snaps with a glare.

"I don't have any theory. I'm as lost as everyone else is."

"Well, at least I tried," he says.

Everyone else just listens to these two argue.

"Jackson has been here the longest," Alie breaks the silence, "he knows more than
we do."

"Where is Jackson?" Nathan asks.

We all look around, eyes searching for our self-appointed leader.

"Did he go out to the water?" A quiet boy asks.

"I think he did," the Hawaiian girl answers craning her neck in a failed attempt to see through the fog.

"Sasha, why don't you and Gray go check?" Alie suggests.

I have a feeling she is taking the place of the leader. The Hawaiian girl, Sasha, takes the quiet Gray by the arm and pulls him in the direction the sound of the water is coming from. They don't step out of the ring of fog surrounding us and the fire.

"Jackson!" Sasha calls into the fog.

"I think I see him," Gray says loud enough for us to hear.

Sasha calls his name again.

"Where is he?" she asks Gray.

"He isn't answering your call?" Dylan asks.

"Maybe he can't hear you," Nathan comments pulling his sleeves back down and
flipping his hood up over his short blonde hair.

"He's right there," Gray points out to Sasha.

"I see nothing but fog, dude. Where is there?"

"Right the- where'd he go?" Gray mutters. "He was there straight out in front of us.
Running toward the water. I could see him perfectly."

"You saw him?" Nathan asks.

This kid is chalk full of questions.

"But how, with all the fog?" he asks.

"The fog is gone," Gray says, "I see no fog." Then he stands up straight and stares in
the direction of the water. "There's someone out there."

"You've got to be seeing things," Sasha says looking at him.

"Is it Jackson?" Alie asks him.

“There’s too much fog.”

"I don't see any fog," Gray answers and pulls his arm away from Sasha.

"He doesn't see any fog, Sasha."

"I know that, Dylan," she snaps.

Gray takes off at a run and disappears into the fog.

"Gray!" Sasha yells and steps forward.

"Sasha, don't follow him," Alie says standing up.

Apparently she is the new leader because Sasha stops and just stares at the spot
where Gray had disappeared.

"I have a theory," Nathan says staring at the fire.

"What's with the theories?" Sasha asks rolling her eyes and throwing her hands up in
the air.

Just then a girl breaks through the fog and rushes right past us disappearing again as
she races toward the water. We hear a loud, excited shriek and then a splash and
silence. No one says a word...

The fire pops loudly and we all jump, startled back into reality.

"What's your theory, Nathan?" Alie asks

"Never mind," Nathan whimpers noticing the intimidating look on Sasha's face.

Alie throws a glance at her too and frowns. All of us are quiet again. I look up
straining to see the sky through the thick air. The fog surrounding us is so dense I
feel enclosed in a cloud. Only the flames cut through and disappear into the ceiling
creating a solid wall of orange heat.

“I just don’t understand this,” Dylan mutters standing up. He shoves his hands in his
pockets and kicks the sand with his foot. “What is this place?”

“How did we even get here?” Nathan adds.

“What’s the last thing you remember?” Alie asks him, her voice filled with
understanding.

Nathan looks down at the ground in shame, “I remember…chugging a whole bottle of
Karkov Vodka and people cheering for me…" we all sit in silence, "or maybe shouting
at me. I don’t remember much after that.”

We are all silent. Just staring at the fire for the longest time.

“How did that happen?” Dylan asks curiously.

Nathan stares into the flames. I watch his eyes and can see the events of the past
few days play out in his head.





Nathan


“Nathan, could you come here!” Dad yelled from outside my window.

I groaned and rolled out of bed. My blankets and shorts stuck to my body, sticky with
sweat. Even though it was only eleven in the morning, it was really hot out. I live in
Arizona and we’re known for our ridiculously hot summers. And every other season for
that matter.

I trudged down the stairs stomping my feet on each step to make it known that I was
in a bad mood. When I got down the stairs I went outside and squinted in the bright
Sunday morning. Dad was backing the riding lawnmower out of the garage. I groaned
even louder.

“That’s right,” he said to me with a smile, “I need you to mow the lawn today before
my boss comes over.”

“Your boss is coming over?” I whined.

“Don’t give me that,” Dad snapped climbing off the mower, “you’ll be at youth group
anyway.”

“Thank God,” I muttered and took my seat on the lawnmower.

“Do a good job and I might convince your mother to let you get out of cleaning the
house with her when she gets home.”

“Sure, sure, thanks Dad,” I murmured untangling my headphones and plugging them
into my iPod.

I guided the mower through the maze of patio furniture to the grass. After a quick look
back at Dad, who gave me a thumbs-up, I pushed play on my iPod. Chevelle blasted
in my ears making my head hurt. But that was the only thing that could drown out the
sound of the lawnmower below me.

The music did exactly what I wanted it to do. Distract me from being able to actually
think. Anytime that summer that I had time to think I only thought about one thing.
Starting high school in the fall.

I won't lie, I was scared. I had a right to be scared though. High school was worse
than prison as far as I knew. At least in prison you could go to your own cell and be
left alone. In high school you are completely exposed to all kinds of scary things.
Drugs, fights, parties, seniors! I was absolutely petrified of the seniors. I was the kid
who was always singled out as the runt. In sixth grade no matter what I did I almost
always found myself headfirst in a trashcan and the eighth graders laughing like
hyenas at me.

Sticking kids in trashcans was juvenile compared to the stuff the seniors could do to
me. Like I said, high school wasn't something I was looking forward to.

By the time I was half way done with our huge lawn it was after noon and the sun was
high and blazing. I could feel the sunburn forming on my arms and face. Perfect. Not
only was I going to be one of the smallest kids to show up at school in two days but
also the reddest. One more reason to pick on me. I was going to glow like a bright red
neon sign that reads "pick on me".

Finally, when I was done, I trudged back inside and fell onto the couch in the living
room.

"You done?" Dad asked as he came down the stairs.

"Uh huh," I groaned. I swear I had heatstroke or something.

"Looks good," he said gazing out the huge living room window at our front yard.

"Uh huh," I muttered again with my sore, burnt face buried in a pillow.

I was completely exhausted. We have a big front yard.

I must have dozed off because before I knew it I was being shaken awake. My eyes
cracked open and I saw Mom's weary face. I rubbed my eyes.

"Zack is on the phone for you, honey," Mom said softly to me and pressed the
cordless phone into my hand.

"Thanks," I cracked and put the receiver up to my ear. "Sup, Zack?" I croaked.

"Dude, you have to come with me to this party tonight," he exclaimed in my ear, "It's
a high school party!"

"Hmm."

Zack's older brother was going to be a senior this next year so he had connections to
all the good parties.

"I have youth group tonight, dude," I replied.

"Oh, come on, Nate," my best friend whined, "This will be the last good party of the
summer. This could be our chance to gain some status." I shared my bullies with him
from time to time. "If we go to that party we could get some senior friends and you
know how handy that would be."

I bit my lip in thought. If I went and made a few friends, the bullying could stop. I
wouldn't have anything to worry about the first day of school. As I thought, my eyes
fell on the Bible lying on the coffee table in front of me. We were right in the middle of
a discussion about temptation at church. The verse Matthew 6:13 came to my mind.
"And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from the evil one." It was a verse I had
learned way back when I was still in Sunday school.

"I can't go," I said to Zack.

"But, Nate, it's going to be one of the biggest parties of the summer!" Zack exclaimed
shrieking into my ear.

I pulled the phone back. "I already told my youth pastor I would be at youth group
tonight. You can join me if you want," I said.

"Pff are you kidding?" he asked me with a scoff, "I'm going to this party."

"Alright, Zack," I sighed. "Have fun."

"I will," my friend replied excitedly. "Have fun at your church thing."

"Thanks," I smiled to myself. "I have to go now though, I heard a honk."

"Oh, but if you do decide to come it's at Sadie Larson's house," he said quickly.

"Okay, Zack," I rolled my eyes.

"Alright, later," Zack said then hung up.

I hung up too then got off the couch and ran upstairs to grab my jacket before saying
goodbye to Mom and Dad and heading out the door. Headlights cast bright circles on
the garage door. I ran toward the SUV already packed with kids from youth group and
opened the door.

"Thanks for giving me a ride, John," I said squeezing in between my friends Jason and
Alex.

"No problem, Nate," John replied from the driver's seat. He put the car in reverse and
floored the gas causing us all to fall forward.

We all laughed with delight then peeled off down the street heading for the church.

Our youth group is called The Temple. It's real small. Only about fourteen people but
it's my home away from home.

After worship, which consists of John and an acoustic guitar, we broke off into our
different groups. I was always with Jason, Alex and this girl, Melissa. John was the
leader of our group.

"Alright guys," he said toward the end of our meeting, "your verse to memorize this
week is 1 Corinthians 10:13. Alex, would you look that up for us?"

It didn't take long for Alex to find the verse. He held his Bible close to his face and
squinted at the small writing, "No temptation has seized you except what is common
to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.
But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up
under it." He looked up from his Bible and pushed his glasses up his nose. "That's a
long one."

"Yes, I know it's long," John admitted with a smile, "but it's a very meaningful verse.
We're all faced with temptation every day and sometimes it's very hard to resist but
just remember that we can trust God to provide a way out. He won't let us fall to
temptation if we don't want to."

"But we still have free will," Melissa said.

"Exactly right. That's why people can still give into temptation," our youth pastor said.

"But when you're being tempted it's not sinning," I said.

"When you give into it is when it turns into a sin," Jason answered.

John smiled a proud smile and nodded.

That night I lay in my bed wide-awake. I couldn't help but worry about Zack. I knew for
a fact that he was still at that party. Those things always ended no earlier than two or
three in the morning. At least according to the kids and their stories at school.

I sat up in bed. What if I just went over there to make sure he was alright? After all he
was my friend. He would do the same if I was in his situation. I remembered that he
had said it was at Sadie Larson's house. Finding her address wouldn't be hard. It just
took one quick look in the phonebook.

Silently, I snuck down the stairs. Mom and Dad were already in bed so the whole
downstairs was dark and quiet. I went into the kitchen, grabbed the phonebook out of
the end drawer by the phone and found Sadie's address. After writing it down on my
hand I headed out the front door shutting it carefully behind me then hopped on my
bike and pedaled toward her house.

Tons of people, all older and taller than me, were scattered out on the lawn. Some
were standing, some lying on the grass and some were crowded around a fight taking
place between two huge jocks. I parked my bike a little ways down the sidewalk then
put my hood up and shoved my hands in my pockets, trying my best to fit in as I
wandered up the walk toward the house.

The house was even more packed than the lawn. Bodies were crushed against each
other and it took a lot of strength to squeeze through the crowd. It didn't take long for
me to find Zack. He was the loudest and the drunkest one in the living room. As well
as the tallest. He was standing on top of the counter yelling and jumping around.

"Nate! You came!" He screamed when he saw me.

Oh great, I thought to myself as he jumped down and ran toward me.

"This place is great!" Zack, reeking of alcohol, yelled in my face. "You have to meet
someone."

Then he grabbed my arm and pulled me toward the back of the house. He led me
outside to the back balcony where, if it's even possible, there were even more people.
We stopped at the edge of the deck where a circle of seniors surrounded one guy
chugging alcohol from a blue, plastic cup. They all cheered when he finished, throwing
his hands triumphantly into the air, then bending over the railing and throwing up over
the edge. Once he was done he turned back around and stumbled out of the crowd.

"Nate, you should try it," Zack said to me with an ecstatic smile.

"No," I replied sternly surprised at how small my voice sounded.

"Oh come on," he shoved my shoulder a little too hard. Then he took another kid's
arm and turned him toward us, "This is Luke. He's senior class president," he said
proudly.

Luke smiled a perfect, white smile at me, "Hey, Nate, right?"

My mouth dropped open. Had an older kid actually talked to me without intention of
dumping me into a waste reciprocal?

"Uh, yeah," I stuttered a little in awe.

"Cool, I'm Luke," he said. I could smell the alcohol on his breath but he seemed to be
handling himself a lot better than Zack was. He put his arm around my shoulder.
"Enjoy yourself here, man. This may be the last party before the end of the summer."
Then he reached over and wrapped his hand around a half empty bottle of vodka and
shoved it into my stomach. "Come on, give it a shot. Show us all what you're made
of."

The rest of the group had turned their attention to me and Luke by then and was now
pulling me into the center of the circle, cheering and encouraging me saying. "Yeah,
go Nate!"

I won't lie; I had never felt so good in my entire life. Finally I was being accepted as a
person instead of a punching bag. There was no way I could back out now. My
reputation was at stake. After all, I looked at the bottle of vodka, it was only one drink.
Right?

Everything we had talked about at youth group completely left my mind as I tipped my
head back and felt the burning, foul tasting vodka touch my tongue. I instinctively
began to gag then forced my throat to open up as I began just pouring the burning
liquid down my throat. All I heard was this group of seniors chanting my name like I
was a champion. As I emptied the bottle my eyes focused on one star up in the
cloudless Arizona sky. The last thing that went through my mind was 1 Corinthians
10:13. I remembered the whole verse perfectly. As if it were written in the stars and I
was reading it. No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And
God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when
you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.
Then everything went black.

I just can't believe I gave into temptation so quickly. After all those weeks of talking
about how to resist temptation. Just a little thing like peer pressure and my whole life
was screwed up. It makes me feel so ashamed. I was supposed to be setting a good
example for Zack and instead I set a terrible example. Someone else go. I don't want
to talk about it anymore.





The Beach



“I’m really sorry,” Alie says quietly to Nathan.

Nathan just nods silently.

Suddenly the silence seems a bit uncomfortable. Almost like tension has added itself
to the thickness of the atmosphere. We all look at each other waiting for someone to
speak. Sasha glances at me

“I guess I'll go,” she says with a sigh and stands up.





Sasha



I originally came from Kapaau, Hawaii. My dad made us move to Michigan when he
got a last minute job offer teaching at one of the colleges. He announced it at dinner
one night.

"This is a great opportunity for us," Dad tried to reassure me.

"But Dad," I protested, "We're right in the middle of the school year. I'm already
almost finished with my community service hours for my senior project."

"She's right, dear," Mom agreed. "She is graduating this year."

"I know," my dad said, "I've already talked to both Sasha's school and the school in
Michigan and all her credits and hours will be transferred over."

"You already talked to them?" I shouted clenching my hands into fists. "Dad, you just
told us tonight and you're already making plans for us to move?"

I stood up and stormed to my room slamming the door behind me. Tears were already
forming in my eyes even before I buried my face in a pillow. The anger churned my
stomach and swelled in my throat. Frustrated, I let out a scream that I wouldn't be
surprised if it broke the sound barrier. Afterwards a wave of exhaustion swept over me
and I broke out in a cold sweat. A small whimper escaped my throat. I had already
made plans for my future. I already knew what college I wanted to go to. The
application was sitting on my desk already all filled out. Just then there was a knock
on my door.

"Sasha? Can I come in?" My mom asked from the hallway.

I didn't answer but the familiar sound of my door opening indicated that she was
letting herself in.

"Honey, I know you're upset," my bed creaked as Mom sat down beside me. "But
this is a big opportunity for this whole family."

"But what about my friends?" I asked rolling over and drying my eyes with my sleeve.
"Jackie, Danielle and I already made plans to go to the same college next year."

"I know, sweetheart," Mom wrapped her arms around my shoulders and hugged me
against her. I sobbed. She looked at me just then, "But you will be able to make new
friends at school that you can make plans like that with. And next summer you can
come back and visit Jackie and Danielle, okay?"

I just sniffed in reply. "When are we supposed to be going?" I asked quietly.

"Your father said we only had about a week to get everything all packed and get it to
Michigan before he has to start teaching the following week." Then she rubbed my
back sympathetically, "Are you going to be okay?"

I just nodded.

"Alright, Sash," my mom stood up, "well, it's not too late yet. It might be a good idea
to start packing a few things you won't need for the next week."

I nodded again.

"I love you," Mom said.

"Love you too," I replied with a weak smile.

Mom returned the smile then left my room, closing my door quietly behind her. I
sniffed clearing my sinuses. My eyes burned from the tears that were once again
welling up in my eyes as I looked around my room. So many mementos were hanging
up or sitting displayed on my dresser and side table. I'd always called Maui home.
But now I would have to trade my warm Hawaiian nights for cold, Michigan-y ones.

Sluggishly, I stood up and grabbed my cell phone on the way out of my room. I didn't
say anything to Mom or Dad before slipping out the front door into the warm winter
night.



"But graduation is only four months away," Danielle said from the other end.

"I know," I replied switching my phone to the other ear. "I don't understand why Dad
can't wait until after I graduate. Or just not make us move at all," I added sadly.

Neither of us said anything for a while.

"This sucks," Danielle muttered.

"Tell me about it," I agreed reaching the last step and emerging at the top of the
lighthouse.

Kauhola Point Lighthouse was less than half a block from my house so I went down
there a lot when I wanted to think. This was definitely one of those nights that I
needed to get away from the house.

"You aren't going to start cutting yourself again are you?" Danielle blurted out after a
few moments of silence.

"Danny!" I exclaimed getting rude glances from an older couple walking along the
railing.

"I'm just asking," she said.

"Well, no," I said a little quieter "I won't do that," I told her.

"Okay, good," Danielle replied, "You gave Jackie and me a real scare a couple
months ago."

"I know," I sighed running my fingertips over the raised, scarred skin on the arm holding my phone, "I gave myself a scare."



That whole next week was filled with tears and packing tape as my parents and I went
through our stuff deciding what we needed and what we didn't need. Finally we
decided to just buy a bunch of new things when we got there. So all our belongings
that we were taking with us got shipped off and would be there when we pulled up to
our new house in Grand Rapids, Michigan on Thursday morning.

On Wednesday, the day before we were leaving, I sat through all my classes with red,
watering eyes. I had already been unregistered so I didn't technically have to be there
but I wanted to be able to spend as much time with my friends as I could. Between
classes and during lunch I wandered the halls hugging everyone I recognized and
saying goodbye to my teachers. All of them wished me luck or told me that they were
going to miss me. I was going to miss all of them too.

When the final bell rang to go home, Jackie and Danielle met up with me at my
house. They stayed the night. Then Jackie, Danielle and I followed behind my parents
in Jackie's car to the airport.

The whole ride there, the three of us listened to loud, up-beat music, laughing and
trying our best to have a good time.

Maui Airport was really crowded. Mostly with adults since so many kids were in
school. My two friends and I all linked arms as we followed signs directing us to the
right gate. My parents strolled behind us running over what we needed to do once we
got off the plane in Michigan. I tried my hardest to ignore them, by acting as though
we were here to meet up with someone instead of departing.

We reached the gate all too soon and my parents had to pry the three of us girls
apart. Tears blurred my vision so I couldn't even see until after our plane had lifted off.
All the crying really exhausted me, as well as the sleepless night before, so before
too long I closed my tired eyes and drifted off to sleep, and I didn't wake back up until
we landed in Michigan.

I didn't say anything the whole taxi ride to Grand Rapids I just stared out the window
glaring at the thick blanket of snow on the ground.

The city was huge. Skyscrapers jutted toward the sky and the streets were crowded
with people hurrying from place to place. Completely different from the laid back
lifestyle of my small town of Kapaau.

Northview High School had more students than there were people in all of Kapaau.
The minute I stepped foot on campus a surge of fear raced through my whole body.
With my head down and eyes glued to the pavement I walked into the school and
headed into the office to get my schedule.

The first day went by in a blur of nameless faces and the rest of the afternoon I spent
in my room unpacking and crying because I already missed my friends so much.

The second day of school was two hundred times worse than my first. Now that
everyone knew about the new girl at school the harassing started…

“Aloha, Kiki!” One girl blurted out as I walked in late to my first class.

Everyone burst out laughing.

“My name isn’t Kiki,” I muttered as I felt my face growing hot. I took my seat in the
back right corner and prayed silently that the teacher would come soon.

“Hey, Kiki, can you teach me to speak dolphin?” a boy in a cowboy hat asked me
from across the room. He let out a loud vibrato squeak that I think was supposed to
resemble the sound a dolphin makes. This caused the others to laugh harder.

In my defense I’ve never even seen a dolphin in real life before. The teacher walked in
five minutes late. Whenever he wasn’t paying attention, someone let out a quiet
dolphin squeak and the class would snicker. I thought things couldn’t get worse. I
was wrong.

The next day one of the guys brought a bunch of leis to school passing them around.
People wearing leis yelled out “I got leid by Kiki” and made dolphin noises at me
when they saw me in the halls. Thanks to their cleverness, rumors started spreading
around and by the third day most of the school was gossiping about how I had “slept
with half the guys in the senior class”.

Every day the whole following week I came home crying and locked myself in my
room. My mom and dad both tried comforting me telling me that this would all pass
soon. Dad had even threatened that he was going to call the school and get to the
bottom of this. That would only make things worse, I thought.

One Wednesday as soon as the sixth period bell rang ending school I breathed a sigh
of relief and hurried out of my class hoping to get home as soon as possible. That
plan was cut short when I found a small group of senior girls waiting for me at my
locker. I was about to turn the other way and just take my stuff home with me but
they had already spotted me.

I froze where I was like a deer staring at an oncoming car as the group of girls
stampeded toward me, a look of pure hatred in each of their eyes.

The girl in front, I’m pretty sure her name was Sam, stopped inches from me.

“You slept with my boyfriend, you slut!” she screamed at me.

“What? No I didn’t, I swear!” I protested.

I’d never even had sex before. I had taken a purity class through our church when I
was fourteen. It was all just a terrible rumor.

It didn’t matter what I said to Sam. Before I could say anything more, she reared back
and slapped my face so hard it felt like someone had slammed my head against
concrete. I stumbled backwards trying to get away from her but she lunged at me
hands clawing at my face and hair like a cat’s. I tried covering my head with my
hands and kept stepping backward hoping to get away from her long enough so I
could make a run for it.

“Hey!” I heard.

Sam didn’t stop until the principal ripped her off of me. My cheek stung from the slap
and my scalp was on fire. I saw big clumps of my hair twisted in Sam’s hands as she
was hauled away still screaming at me at the top of her lungs calling me a slut over
and over. The people near us that had seen the whole thing cheered and clapped,
then quickly dispersed as another teacher came and helped me to my feet.

Sam and I were brought to the principal’s office where we were lectured about the
consequences of fighting then suspended for the rest of the week.

As soon as I got home I ran into the kitchen, opened the silverware drawer and pulled
out a steak knife. My dad was teaching a class and Mom was out grocery shopping
so I was completely alone. I ran into my room and locked the door behind me. Then I
tossed the knife on the bed and went into my bathroom. There I got a good look at
myself in the mirror. I hated what I saw.

My left cheek was speckled white and pink with a perfect bright red handprint in the
middle. Almost perfect. Sam’s fingers had dragged across my skin so the fingers of
the print were longer and ended in what looked like pointed claws. There were three
big scratches along my jaw from her fingernails and my scalp was bleeding in the
front where she had ripped out a huge section of my hair. A tear escaped my eye and
fell over the red claw print and scratches making my face sting even more. I turned
away from the mirror and went back over to my bed.

There I lay on my back and covered my face with my pillow. I had never been so
angry before. I was angry with my dad for making us move here. I was angry with
those guys for teasing me and turning a joke into a rumor. I was mad at Sam for
attacking me the way she did. But mostly I was mad at myself for letting this happen
and for not fighting back.

My hands dropped away from the pillow over my face and one landed on the steak
knife beside me. I pulled the pillow from my face and stared at the knife in my hand.
The perfectly straight and shining metal gleamed back at me. I had told Danielle that I
wouldn’t cut myself anymore but I didn’t care. I wanted this anger, this pain to go
away. Just a little nick. Nothing big. It probably wouldn’t even scar.

I placed the blade on my wrist already feeling better as the cool metal rested on my
skin. Slowly, I pressed the blade down. It hadn’t broken the skin yet but then I felt it
give way and a tiny drop of blood seeped out from under the knife. Just then my
phone beeped loudly, meaning it was going dead, startling me and causing my hand
to jerk. The knife slipped across my skin creating a deep gash in my wrist.

“Oh!” I gasped looking at my arm as it began bleeding really bad. Oops. Oops. Oops.
Oops.

I ran into the bathroom then turned on the faucet and plunged my wrist under the
water. The whole bowl of the sink was turning red but the water didn’t seem to be
helping at all.

“Oh, God please help me,” I prayed out loud then turned the water off and grabbed a
towel.

I wrapped it as tightly as I could around my wrist and went back into my room. I lay
down on my bed trying to calm myself down.

“Just breathe, Sasha,” I told myself, “you’re going to be fine. It’s not as deep as you
think it is,” I put the pillow over my face with my other hand and closed my eyes
concentrating on my breathing.

As I focused on my breathing I began getting very sleepy. I yawned into my pillow
feeling slightly dizzy. I had had a rough day and I was completely exhausted.
Everything would be okay when I woke back up. So I exhaled heavily and drifted off to
sleep.

Next thing I know, I was here.





The Beach



Sasha doesn’t say anything more after that. Suddenly I feel very cold even with the
giant fire burning only a few feet away from me.

“Wow,” Dylan finally says.

“Yeah,” Sasha whispers sounding like she is about to start crying. She clears her
throat, “as I was falling asleep, though, I felt really weird.”

“What do you mean?” Alie asks, her voice also a bit shaky.

“I felt like I wasn’t the only one in my room,” she replies, “But it wasn’t just anyone.
Almost like the very presence of the person was just very peaceful but massive.”

No one speaks for the longest time. I close my eyes.

“Do you think it was God?” Nathan asks hesitantly.

My eyes snap open again.

“I don’t know,” Sasha replies, “Now that I think of it though, that could be it.”

My heart sinks as God’s name is mentioned. Bitterness tears at my very core as I
think that He didn’t even help Sasha. Or Nathan for that matter according to his story.

“It’s weird though, the cut is gone now,” Sasha says holding out her wrist.

I glance at it. Completely clean. Then my eyes dart back to the fire.

“That’s amazing,” Alie breathes thoughtfully.

A smile spreads across Sasha’s face as she runs her hand over the smooth skin of
her arm.

“Do you guys want to know why I’m here?” Dylan asks quietly not sure about what we
would say.

“Sure, Dylan,” Alie says softly. “Go ahead.”

Dylan smiles appreciatively then stands and slowly reaches up and takes a hold of
his beanie. He pulls it off revealing a completely bald head.