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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1569404-Sacramento-Surprise
Rated: ASR · Draft · Relationship · #1569404
This is a draft/scene for a larger piece - "Fix You." Eli surprises Averlyn at work.
NOTE:  This is a draft of a scene for a larger work entitled "Fix You."  This particular scene is in Eli's perspective.

I rarely traveled the west side of town.  If I was in the area it was either because I was bored and just driving around or a I had a meeting of some sort there.  Today, I wanted to surprise Averlyn at work.  She worked at the local dollar store, where she had been employed since high school.  She started out as a cashier and was now working as a supervisor. 

I felt a bit odd, parking in the nearly empty lot of the Dollar Saver.  I had never been in a dollar store before;  I’d never had the need to.  I parked beside Averlyn’s Reliant.  There was one other car in the lot – a beat up gun metal gray Toyota Cavalier.  A bicycle was tied to the handicap sign in front of the empty spot. 

The building itself seemed a little run down.  When I walked in, the sheer silence was striking.  A girl with jet black hair, ice blue eyes and a lip ring was at the front counter.  She was leaning forward, obviously bored out of her mind, picking off flakes of her black fingernail polish. 

I approached her and cleared my throat to capture her attention.  Her eyes widened when she saw me.  “Hi… can you tell me where I can find Averlyn Cooper?”

The girl seemed shocked, perhaps because no one ever looked for Averlyn.  “She’s in the stock room right now.  You probably shouldn’t be back there, but…”  She shrugged her shoulders.  “Back corner.”  She pointed to the far right corner of the store.

I started back through the store, glancing behind me.  The lip-ring girl was still watching me. 

Dollar Saver seemed to have nearly everything.  Within three aisles, I located shampoo, transmission oil and cheese crackers.  Everything was some off brand I’d never heard of.  Everything seemed to be of cheap quality, too.  But the prices were pretty low.  From what Averlyn told me, only a certain type of people came to Dollar Saver.

In the back corner, I located a black door.  There was no indication that this was the stockroom, but I heard shuffling on the other side.  I didn’t want to scare her, so I lightly tapped the door.

The door creaked open slightly and I could see her brown eyes peering through.  “Eli!”  She opened the door wider.  “What are you doing here?”  Her lips spread into a smile – the reaction I had hoped for.  Averlyn swung her arms around me and squeezed me tight. 

“I finished my paper, couldn’t find anything to do, and decided I would come here to surprise you.” 

Averlyn took my hand and pulled me into the door, closing it behind her.  “Well, you certainly surprised me.”  She was wearing a navy blue polo with a white name tag pinned against the right side of her chest.  Her name was written in her familiar script.  I glanced around the stock room and noticed a bunch of boxes and a box cutter.  “Our latest shipment just came in.  I’ve been working on unpacking everything for hours.”

“Do you need any help?”  I offered.

She grinned.  “If you help me now, I won’t have anything to do after you leave.”  Averlyn lowered herself to the stool and motioned for me to sit down on a box across from her.  “You can keep me company,” she said with a smile.  Averlyn started counting the shaving cream cans in front of her and marking something off on a clipboard.

“Do you like working here?”  I asked.

Averlyn shrugged.  “I don’t know… I guess.  I mean, there’s not a lot of activity and mostly I’m bored out of my mind, but sometimes I get to do my homework when Julie, the store manager, isn’t around.  She likes to keep me because I’m reliable.  I’ve been here since I was sixteen, so I make some decent money.  It’s not horrible.”  She tugged a rubber band off her wrist and tied her long brown hair up into a ponytail.  “Your paper turn out well?”

I nodded.  “Yeah.  I read it over twice and I couldn’t think of anything else to add.  I figured I’m acing the class, so I shouldn’t worry too much.”  I watched her carefully as she began counting boxes.  When Averlyn was focused, she was so… cute.  I could probably think of a better word, but it would suffice.

“So I have a surprise for you.” 

She rolled her big brown eyes.  “You always have a surprise for me.”  Averlyn set down her clipboard and pen, crossing her arms in front of her chest.  “Hit me.”

I feigned a look of disgust.  “I’m not going to hit you.”

“Haha, very funny.  What’s the surprise.”

I grinned.  “Where’s your sense of humor today?”  I asked, as I reached into my jacket pocket.

“It’s just that every time you have a surprise for me, it’s something ridiculous.”

“Then I guess you don’t want to come to Sacramento to meet my family.”

Her jaw dropped and she ripped the tickets from my hands.  Averlyn examined them for a moment, then looked up at me in shock.  “They want to meet me?”

“Of course they do, Averlyn.”

“These tickets are for next weekend.  Eli… Clarissa would never let me go.”

I just stared at her.  “I’m sorry, how old are you again?”

Averlyn shot me a glare and reached for her clipboard.  “You know what I mean, Eli.  If I just up and leave Elmswood, I’ll have hell to pay when I return.”

I took a deep breath.  Things that should be quite simple, like taking my girlfriend to Sacramento to meet my family, always became complicated.  Of course, I wasn’t used to complications and never foresaw any of it coming.  I almost felt bad for being frustrated because Averlyn’s reasonings were very real.  My frustrations were more aimed at Averlyn’s family than herself.

“So there’s no possible way you can go?”  I asked.  “Because they really want to meet you… and I really want you to meet them.”

Averlyn didn’t say anything at first.  She just stood there, amongst boxes, her jaw moving back in forth.  She did this sometimes when she was contemplating.  “I want to meet them, too,”  she whispered.  Averlyn turned to face me.  “It’s not going to be easy, and I’ll need your help to think of a way to get me out of Elmswood without Clarissa initiating Armageddon.” 

A grin formed on my lips.  “So you’ll come.”

Averlyn approached me, staring deep into my eyes.  “I’ll see what I can do.”  At that, she pressed a soft kiss to my lips.

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