A Long-ish Poem

This poem, you see,
You must say very fast,
For I wrote it at school
But ‘twas longer than asked.

‘It has too many verses!’
The teacher, she cried.
Oh, that loud booming voice,
How I wanted to hide!

“You must do it again!”
She said with a grin.
How many curses
I had to keep in!

You vile filthy creature!
You insolent toad!
If you were a hedgehog
You’d be flat in my road.

But somehow I managed
To keep it all in,
And this poem, you see,
Ended up in the bin.

I sat up that night,
I was plotting a deed.
I’d get rid of my teacher
And this was the seed.

The seed that would make her,
My teacher, of course,
Exeunt from my life
And start a new course.

Wherever it takes her,
I don’t really care.
Then I hear a noise!
It’s the squeakety stair!

Someone’s ascending
The stairs late at night.
I look at the clock
And it gives me a fright.

I should be asleep,
But I’m not in my bed.
I try to leap over,
Instead hit my head.

I manage to get in
My bed just in time.
The door slowly opens,
I see a torch shine.

My mother, she enters,
And looks over me.
My eyes they flick open,
And she doesn’t see.

She exits and closes
The door and I rise.
I pick up my pen,
And I write some more lines.

My eyes start to close
And I stifle a yawn.
My mind starts to wander
From Shakespeare to corn.

I finish the poem –
It’s all gone wrong!
What I need now
Is a large metal gong.

I start it again
And I finish it quick.
It’s really quite short,
But incredibly slick.

At school the next morning,
I hand the sheet in.
In a battle of wits
I’d definitely win!

My teacher unfolds
The sheet with a flick.
She reads the poem
Incredibly quick.

I know what it says
It was stuck in my head.
Well, here you go.
Here’s what it said.

'This poem is short.
I am sure you can see.
If you wanted it longer,
DON’T BLAME ME!'