Thoughts and emotions mix as I hold my granddaughter for the very first time.
|A Grandma’s Heart
By Donna Lowich
She doesn’t know my name. In fact, I can definitively say that she doesn’t even know who I am. To her, I am just another pair of arms who hug her and hold her snuggly against me while she sleeps. But, I know her!
Her name is Karaleen, she is one week old and she is my granddaughter! I can’t believe she is here! I can’t believe how beautiful and perfect she is in every way possible. Most of all, I can’t believe she is my grandchild.
As we awaited Karaleen’s arrival, I kept trying to imagine what it would be like to hold my very own grandchild. But when my son, Jeff, placed the baby in my arms shortly after her birth, I can truthfully say that even if I had another whole year to try to imagine the feeling, I wouldn’t have been able to do it. There was no way for me to know what it is like until that little one was placed in my arms for the very first time.
I looked into her eyes and she gazed softly back at me. Jeff was standing in front of me. When he spoke, she turned and steadied her gaze on her daddy. She turned her head and again stared directly back at me. We connected immediately, linked by love--and genes!
I wondered: What will she look like, and what will she be like? I remembered asking myself those very same questions as a new mom nearly thirty years ago. I was overcome with emotion and tears spilled out onto my face and raced down towards my chin. It was Grandma wearing her heart on her sleeve.
As tiny as she is, Karaleen has already provided insight into her personality. She was due at the end of the month but came two weeks early. At midnight, the doctor said she could be born any minute. Once again, she arrived on her own schedule at 3:27 a.m.
Twelve hours before Karaleen was born, my daughter-in-law, Katie was on a monitor that tracked her contractions and Kara ‘s heartbeat. The nurse came in while we were there; we got to hear Karaleen’s heartbeat but it was almost drowned out by the pounding of my heart.
Karaleen, without having ever uttered a word has captured my heart—a grandma’s heart.