Internal Beauty

Internal Beauty

         This is dedicated to a certain somebody that I barely know, and I have no idea whether destiny is going to introduce me to them or not , yet all the words that I write about them, were well earned.



         I was sitting in the library, reading a book that I was about to finish, and while I am so eager to know the end of the story that has left me wondering for several sleepless nights, she comes in, she is holding her large books, pens and headphones. She cannot hold them all, which made her accidentally drop all her pens, distracting me and all the readers, whilst all of the other people were concentrating in other things; there were people reading like me, others were browsing their laptops, thinking of projects they were obliged to do by their tutors, others were chatting in patterns of murmurs.



Although she dropped her pens, I was the only one that noticed her, and whilst she kneeled to pick them up, another girl entered, yet this one was something else, I could see that she spent at least a couple of hours looking to her face, putting various nonsense that were tested on harmless animals, I could hear the highly pitched sound of the high heels, I could smell the sour scent that she submerged her body into, which made me sneeze, I could almost feel her soft flesh from the stretched clothes she was wearing, I could almost touch her sticky hair, I could sense the loathing of my heart to this type of girls.



I could observe that she managed to attract the attention of all the people that were supposed to be focussed on what they were doing, I could notice that all of the eyes were fixed on her from the moment she entered till the moment she sat down, as if she were a warm blooded creature entering a room full of hungry vampires, thirsty to suck her blood. And even after she sat down, everybody was giving her a glance from second to second, which made her the star of the library and also served her self -ego very well, and now she now knows that the hours spent in front of the mirror were actually worthwhile and were not wasted for granted.



After this entire familiar scenario, the first girl manages to collect her pens, and manages to find a seat in a table that was just in front of that of the queen of make up, she gently places her stuff on the table and sits down, wishing deep inside that she would avoid doing something clumsy, and just when she thought that she could open her book and read, yet she was wondering where that intense smell came from which she managed to conclude without needing to think another second. She looked in front of her and was shocked by what she was seeing. She could see the queen of make up pretending to sit in a place that she does not belong to and do something that is not of her nature, whilst everybody behind her are unsuccessfully trying to stop looking at her lustrous clothes and sticky dyed hair.



All of this provoked a deep sorrowful sensation in her heart, all of this made her remember how she always felt invisible, all of this made her wish she was created like the queen of make up, all of this made her think that she was never going to be loved by someone, all of these negative and pitiful feelings running through her sensitive and vulnerable heart caused a tear full of sorrow and misery to fall from her left brown eye. She then looked in her book, knowing that it was the only thing that she got, knowing that it was her only companion in her dull life, knowing that it was the only creature that could look at her without turning the other side, despising what it had just seen. After I had noticed all of these contradicting events, I was determined to keep looking at our sad friend, I was determined to know how deep she was hurt from this hideous scenario that she almost experiences every single day.





I let out a deep exhalation to express my sorrow towards my sad friend, and then a deep feeling deep inside of me inspired me to go and sit with her, to try to let her free those gloomy feelings, for we all need to relief our heart from the burden of painful feelings. Subsequently, I went to her table and tried to do something that will distract her attention and make her notice me, yet failure was my outcome, so I just calmly sat down, giving my back to the queen of make up. After I sat down, I tried to get close to her, but a very passionate scene steals my eyes; I could see that her eyes were focused on a certain part of the book in her hands, I could see that her eyes were not moving, I could see that her eyes were eager to cry, yet she was trying so much not to drop a stream of tears after already letting one escape.



I reached out with my right hand, to hold her free left hand, and after travelling miles and miles, I touch her hand, and just when I completely enveloped it in my hand, the tears exploded from her eyes, letting out all of the innermost captive sad feelings with a painful sound, she let out all of the sorrow, which was buried in her heart for lots of years, she let it all out in one single cry, the sound echoed in the hearts of those who were sitting in the library. All of the eyes shifted from the queen of make up to our modest table, I managed to hold control of the situation and I insinuated with a deep and  calm voice that everything is alright, as if I know my sad friends for ages. I got out a paper handkerchief and give it to her, she took it and wiped her tears, yet there are still lots of enslaved feelings, making the sea of sorrow so deep, that it will need a while till it dries off.



Knowing this fact, I told her that is better to go outside. After spending a while outside listening to her trying to tell me what that she feels yet the intensity of her crying was so much stronger, which made me unable to understand anything, so I tried to calm her down, and after successfully doing this, she was not saying a word, she is just holding her handkerchief close to her nose while looking to the ground, scolding herself for not being able to hold her sorrow.





This made me start saying things I never thought I could say, I said things which made me feel like a philosopher rather than a normal student, I started my contemplative conversation

” I know that deep down inside of you, you are hurting, I know that you think that you are invisible, I know that you consider yourself a hideous creature that does not deserve to live, I know that you never express your feelings to anyone, I know that you are sick of it, I know that you consider that you will always live in sorrow without tasting the sweet taste of happiness, and above all of that I know that you consider yourself unbeautiful” unfortunately this was her deepest secret, which made her remember, consequently she began to cry again, yet I was determined to continue

“there is nothing wrong with you, it is the problem of the people around you, they are so shallow, they are blinded by the appearance of something. They are still not mature enough to figure out that external beauty is nothing, they still have not known that internal beauty is what matters the most, they are ignorant to the fact that external beauty is just temporary, that external beauty is naturally worn out by the tricks of age, that external beauty is nothing compared to internal beauty”

I could see that she is nodding her head, agreeing to almost what I say, refreshing her heart, trying to recover .

“you are the one that has so much of the internal beauty, which is the most important, because it is the one that stays forever, it is the beauty that cannot get you a materialistic prize, because it is too lofty for these trivial things, it is so noble, yet unfortunately denied by most of us, not because it is bad, but because we are too blind to see it.



Do not worry, for internal beauty is the true essence of human beings, do not worry because one day this beauty will get you all the happiness that you have never dreamed of, but first it has to examine your power, first it has to see whether you honestly hold its spirit or not, and when you succeed you will consider your past life as the only bad chapter, in a book full of allure”.



I began to see a smile on her angelic face, which actually cheered me and her and my voice begins to relax again.

“ so do not ever wish that you were like that repulsive creature inside, because you are so much better, and I know without any doubt that they day will come, where she will be ready to give everything up to have a part of what you have”.

I stopped speaking, she looks inside my eyes and tells me with a sound I could only have heard it through my soul “ thank you, you have really unburdened me from a lot of sorrowful feelings”

she leaves me to enter the library and I just stand in the hallway looking at the sunset, and then I leave the entire building, loathing the queen of make up, and  knowing that what I said to my beautiful friend was one of the best things I ever done in my life.



         This is the hardest chapter I have ever written, it has made me sweat as if I was playing a football match, and it has made me feel bad for many of those girls who are beautiful from the inside, yet I hope that after they read this book, they could feel better, because they are the ones that should be superior not anybody else….. this one is for you...........