The Soul's war for Love

The Soul’s war for Love

         It is like a war, the state that we are in is war, just when I was about to know her, just when I was going to talk to her, to tell her how I feel, I was sent to the war, I was sent to a war within my soul, I was sent to define myself, I was sent away from her. The words were left unspoken, the hearts were tied to non-existing vows, to vows that were never said, yet only felt.
She used to write me letters but they never reached, she was still holding to the idea that I am still alive, she tried not to hear what they told her “He will not return”, deep inside her there was a voice telling her " don't you ever let go of him no matter what happens", besides if she lets go there will be no reason to live, she needs to live, she needs to prove to them that all these years did not pass by for granted, they were hard, they were devastating. And at the end of each year, the light would become weaker, the scent from the clothes gradually fainted, yet she remained strong.
         On the other hand I was fighting, I was struggling to survive. Sometimes, I did not know whether I was doing something right or wrong, sometimes I ask myself if I could just desert the army and return, sometimes in my deepest thoughts I tell myself that she is no longer waiting for me, maybe she got married to another guy, maybe she moved to another country, maybe she does not desire me anymore, yet I got rid of these black thoughts and I reminded myself of the only reason that I want to come out of this war alive, the only reason that has made me invisible in front of the bullets of the enemy.
There were many reasons, one of them is to see her angelic face again, to tell her how much I love her without even knowing her, one of them is to tell that my mind and heart sing your name each day, one of them is to tell her what I have longed to tell her along time ago, one of them is show her how much I really want her by my side, one of them is to show her her name engraved on my heart.
I have to be strong, I have to wait till the war ends, I have to hold to her picture as much as I could, because I bet that if she is waiting for me, I would be so ungrateful if I let go of her.

This war will end, and I will return stronger then ever, but you too have to be strong for me, it is almost over now, just do not ever give up on me.