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Rated: E · Short Story · Satire · #1833120
An old man's thoughts on dying... sort of.
    The gravel driveway stretched from the highway to my grandfather's house in a gentle curve about a half-mile long. We sat at the kitchen table, looking out through the window above the sink. A silver-blue Nissan sent a billow of thick dust out behind itself as it headed our way.
    "That'll be your uncle," my grandfather sighed. "He said he'd come around sometime today with Judge Carson. He wants to get that will all finished." I nodded.
    "Has he been coming over pretty often?" I asked.
    "Oh, sure. He's been over just about every day this week, makin' sure we get everything written down in the will. The car, the furniture…" He paused for a moment, then chuckled gently. "He wanted to put the toilet plunger in there. He wanted the goddamn plunger in the will." I hesitated for a moment.
    "…did you?"
    "Eh, why not? If he wants it...." My grandfather trailed off. He shifted in his seat, craning his neck to look through the window at a better angle.
    "Buzzards out over the field," he observed, his leathery cheeks stretching with his jaw as he spoke. "Must be somethin' dead out in the tall grass. A mouse or a ferret." I nodded again; watched my grandfather raise the dust-brown coffee mug to his cracked lips. He set the mug back down on its coaster, worn fingertips pressed lightly against the surface. The smooth ceramic cup gleamed like the topmost curve of his bald head in the light that leaked in from the midday sun outside.
    The squeal of worn-out brakes announced the arrival of my uncle and the judge. I started to get up for the door.
    "Nah, I've got it," grunted my grandfather, waving a crooked hand in my direction. He rose painfully from the table with the help of his cane and shuffled unhurriedly across the worn tile towards the living room. He stopped for a moment in the doorway, turning back to me. His eyes gleamed cleverly behind the thick lenses of his horn-rimmed glasses.
    "Gotta keep movin', is the thing with buzzards," he stated. "You're okay if you keep kickin' around, but if they don't see you movin', they'll swoop right in."
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