Courtly Love

The court fell apart
When the tiny queen
Broke our jester king’s heart.
There would be no homecoming dance,
No laughing festivities,
Where the king and queen would shine,
The inseparable pair.

Our king held many favorites before,
Sweet lasses he would play with,
But never did he swerve in fair.
Our queen knew this,
And the small smile told us she laughed
At our jester king.

So what changed?
The jester king no longer laughs,
Walking our halls with an expression
None of us can name.
And so we watch as the queen leaves,
And our King watches her.
None of us see the lack of sadness
In his gaze.

Soon the court moved on
Growing used to our single jester king,
For jester he became once more.

I saw more of the king now,
We would eat together, laugh together,
And closer as friends we became.

He alone soon saw the creaky, chipped foundation
That was my courtly love.
For with the men I could flirt and smile,
But when a man showed any fancy,
I would run, skirts billowing,
Fear shining in my eyes
Like that of a doe before the dogs.

All of this was done in courtly politeness
And none saw me turn away,
None realized how I hid from them
So carefully.
But hide I did, inexperienced as the new
Girls, gawking at our older bachelors.
Despite my years, was I any better?
Into the king’s friendship I fell
And slowly the jester clothing stripped away.
But it wasn’t until a yuletide dance,
When he pulled me protesting into the swirling colors,
That I realized what the whole court knew.
Our king had eyes for another,
Had before our queen had left.

Fight or flight,
A response hard wired into our core.
We, the predator, should fight,
But then, why do I prepare for flight
Even as I look at the long, waving mocha hair,
And promising eyes?

He sees now that I know,
That he can no longer easily
Keep my presence.
He knows of my tricks,
My dash away abilities.
And as he looks into my eyes,
He says, “I know you’re scared,
Its nothing to fear.”

I was half away from his arms,
When I turned back,
A last look at what I could have.
Those words reached my ears,
Holding me still.
Slowly, I returned,
And let myself be enveloped into those arms.

I was by no means completely sure,
How could I, the lowly girl,
Take the king’s heart?
Or even his favor?
But with a steady hand he guided me through,
Like there truly was nothing to fear.