Limericks Mk IX

A FRENCH DISASTER



The news that is coming from France

Warrants more than a cursory glance

No more Can-Can I fear

‘cos they can’t-can’t, I hear

They’ve had to invent a new dance.



LAST OF THE LINE



Sir Angus, the last of his clan,

was a very ambitious old man.

He took a young wife,

the pride of his life,

but babies were not in her plan.



FREEDOM



For freedom some fight and some die,

though others may give up and cry.

There’s no other choice;

if we lose our voice,

we’re condemned to just live out a lie.



KEEP IT CLEAN



“I’m all by myself now, Irene.

How come that you treat me so mean?”

“I can’t stand it, Steve,

I just had to leave,

your behaviour has been so obscene.”



MISSING EXHIBITS (1)



Who helped them escape from the zoo?

They’re causing a hullabaloo

They’ve now gone to ground

And cannot be found.

The authorities haven’t a clue.



MISSING EXHIBITS (2)



It’s really quite hard to conceal

A giraffe and an elephant seal

How did they fly the coop?

They’ll wind up in the soup

broiled or roasted; a sumptuous meal.



CASH FLOW



“If it’s cash that you’re after,” said Dad

“You’ve had all I’ll give you, my lad.

Don’t whinge, whine and moan,

Don’t grumble and groan

Get a job and stop making me mad.”



PIGS



They’re feeding the pigs a new swill.

The smell of it makes me feel ill.

But the ham and the pork,

really fly off the fork,

and they’re subtly flavoured with dill.