Dreaded Phone Call

Life is fleeting, it can change in an instant. Life altering events begin mostly with a dreaded phone call. The phone rings at an unusual time, immediately bringing an adrenaline rush. News on the other end cannot be good at such an odd time. Parents and those caring for the elderly know the feeling. A simple phone call has the potential to rock your world. What do you do with this new information? How do you handle a new normal? I received such a phone call a few years ago, here is the story of my journey. In the end some advice on how to cope with world shattering news.

I remember the moment.  A moment that caused time to stand still. The dreaded phone call came midmorning, while I was at work, instantly I knew something was not right. Expecting such a call is normal, but nothing prepares you for the actual call. Those who have children or elderly parents know the feeling.

In a flash, my life was changed. On the other end, my wife was calling to inform me something had happened to my dad. Within 10 seconds, the news was not good, in 30 seconds my world was rocked. What I feared had come to pass. My dad was being rushed to the hospital after a fall on the golf course. Who knew the genteel sport of golf could be so rough.

Rushing to the hospital, thoughts rushed into my mind, and left, only to return with more questions. Whatever the prognosis, it was not going to be pleasant. Arriving at the emergency room the same time as my mom, we waited for the ambulance. She gave me the sketchy details of dad's accident.
We waited, moments turned into an hour, finally a doctor came to  give his report. Dad had broken a hip, surgery was necessary.

We all know that broken hips are not fatal, but for the elderly it can be devastating. My heart sank, personally I was in for a long recovery period with my dad.  My wife and I were the ones my parents called upon for help. She was already helping her parents in a greater capacity, now there was going to be added  responsibilities.

The surgery took place and dad was sent to the rehab unit of the hospital. He had a rough time figuring out what was expected of him physically. Upon being released from the hospital, he was transferred to a nursing home facility for further rehab. This turned into several months. We would go every night to visit and support my mother. Finally, he was able to go home. Dad was home for about 2 weeks when he had a set back, unrelated to the hip, which sent him back to the hospital. While in the hospital he fell out of his chair breaking another hip. He would never quite recover from this second fall.

The struggles for my dad were not normal. What made this difficult was dad's condition; he has Parkinson's disease. He just could not make his body work right in the recovery and rehabilitation process. Mom was unable to care for him at home, so the difficult decision was made to move him into a nursing home. Rapidly, dad's strength declined, to the point where he could no longer stand or walk on his own. His mental condition also deteriorated into dementia.

How did we handle this momentous series of events?  We learned to cope as best we knew how. Are we doing it perfectly, no, but we keep moving forward. Anyone dealing with elderly parents or even children, can relate to life's altering events. 

This experience continues to teach us, here are the best lessons we learned below. The list is meant to encourage those going through similar difficulties.
1. Accept the fact that life is now different.
2. This is a new normal, you cannot change the past.
3. Take one day at a time.
4. Hold on tight to those who are closest to you.
5. Practice patience and grace.
6. Be courteous and kind to those caring for your loved ones.
7. Remember the good times.
8. Make every day count.
9. Do not forget to laugh, life still goes on.
10. Take time for yourself
11. Find a way to get away, even for a couple of hours with 
    your spouse.