A Ghost's A-maze-ing Adventure

It all had begun with my death. 'Twas pretty gruesome, so I'd spare you the details. My husband built this hedge maze more than half millennia ago. He was so distraught by my death, that he buried me at its center. This upset me greatly, since I was forced to linger around. You know; one must be buried on holy ground to be granted a return to...  Never mind; it wasn't a holy place to begin with, and it became less holy with the passage of time.

The years went by and so did the lords of the land. Oh, I didn't tell you my husband built this maze on the property of a rich lord. It is behind his castle somewhere, I couldn't tell you exactly. I heard the estate underwent major changes, and I cannot leave the confines of the maze. Quite vexing!

One lord passed after another; still they weren't much different. Each started with playing pranks on the governesses at a young age, hiding in the maze and giving them a fright. Each lost their hair early and ended playing pranks on the governesses; however, I feel you don't want to know this detail. What matters, I guess, is that I lost track of their names. I couldn't make the difference between them anymore. So in the last hundred years or so I only called them My Lord, whoever happened to run the estate at the time.

The current My Lord is of course bald, has gray hair and black eyes. As it happens, in every generation there's also a curmudgeon. That person who'd look at you straight in the eyes and tell you the legend of the ghost is pure invention. What can I do, some people just cannot see me. I don't know if it is because they are too full of themselves, know-it-all kind of people, or they don't have the "hardware." That's a new word I learned recently, from the other character that seems to spawn every generation. This one has the needed "hardware," and we do talk here and there. 

He's the one who told me to stay put, since my presence scares the visitors. Then My Lord would close the maze and who knows what would become of me. I called them Yew, because they tended to be slow growing and long lived, like the tree. Yew would always tell the visitors about the ghost, although he forbade me from showing myself. I felt that both annoying and unfair.

Stay with me, I know this doesn't make much sense for you now; however, I promise that it would by the end if the story. I know it would, at least to some of you.

There are a couple more things I found strange in this maze. One is that I never see animals. I refuse to believe the place is so unholy the animals would give it a wide berth. The next weird thing is that at times humans move their mouth, throw things or bend as if petting something. For me, it's terrible funny, and sometimes I laugh out loud. I think that scares the visitors every time. 

I stop laughing when I see the group run for their lives toward the exit. Almost always I get a long lecture from Yew; however, I cannot help it.

I think, for some reason, I cannot see animals nor hear the humans addressing them.

I am grateful you're still with me, there’s not much left.

We had a different visitor today. I was so white with envy when I saw her, I almost showed myself. Her beauty stunned me, and her taste made me question my fashion choices 500 odd years ago. With her, there was an youngster with large brown pants and an oversized green t-shirt that once was clean. That soothed my wounded pride. She didn't have a perfect taste in everything after all.

They were searching for something. Sometimes they would run around the hedges, mouthing words I couldn't hear. Other times they would run after My Lord. He wore a strange costume, and I had a sinking feeling the holiness of the place was about to drop another notch. My Lord's sons were all grown up though, and it was hard to believe My Lord hired Daphne as a governess.

There was something else going on.

The bedlam went on for a few days.

The curmudgeon kept telling Daphne there was no ghost living here. He stressed out several times that, as the butler, he ought to know. Based on how he smoothed his black hair, I could swear he wanted also to impress her. 

The Yew kept swearing there was a ghost living in the maze. Not sure he wanted to impress Daphne too; however, neither of them got any attention. Unless we count the word "suspect" that she murmured to the owner of the dirty green shirt.

My Lord kept running around the maze in his funny costume. This confused me the most. It looked sometimes that Daphne and the youngster were running after My Lord, other times they were running from My Lord.

One day, I heard a loud thud. I rushed to see what happened and to my surprise, I saw My Lord tied on the ground. A man clad in dark pants and a dark shirt, with a gun on his hip measured him with an unhappy look. I thought then how much better men looked in my time with a sword instead.

My lord raised his hapless eyes and spit back to the black dressed man. What I heard left me speechless and trembling with fury.
"I was tired of keeping the maze open; however, it had been around for so long, I didn't want to be blamed for its closing. 

And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!"

All made sense to me now; I hope it did for you too.