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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1924633-What-bothers-us
Rated: 13+ · Other · Comedy · #1924633
A trouble maker makes mischief in a small provincial town.
“A dragon with a bad habit and the master that has failed to tame it live here.” Read the sign. It has seen its better days and so did the house. Nothing much to point a finger at but the overall sense was of dejection, like the owner didn’t give a damn. The door could use a new coat of bright red paint, the lawn needed weeding and planting. Is that boulder supposed to be a stone garden? Adalia snorted at the whole mess. Not giving it another thought she climbed the mossy stairs and rang the bell.

Low booming echoed through the house. Nobody opened the door. The woman stood there tapping her foot for a minute. “Oh give me a break. Open up you old dolt, get your ass out of the bed! Its ten past noon already!” She banned her fist on the door until the lock finally clicked open and the door opened a crack. A pale blue eye squinted at the light from beneath a bushy gray brow.

“What do you want woman?” Croaked the old man from behind the door.

Adalia drew in her breath with rage. “Oh the guile you have to stand there and ask me what I want! You know pretty damn well what I want! How many times have I told you not to feed that thing cucumbers? He goes bonkers on ‘em. Do you know what he did this time? Do you want to know? No? Well I’ll show you!”

The stout woman pushed open the door nearly knocking the old man to the ground, grabbed him by the disheveled beard and pulled him out onto the street where a throng of onlookers already gathered all set and ready for the weekly show. They followed the pair to the town square.

“When is he going to do something about it?”

“He’s a loon! Look at those wild eyes. He’s gonna put a curse on us, run everybody!”

“Your eyes would be wild too if she had your beard in a twist.”

“If he had a beard!”

Laughter broke out all around the group. Jostling and hollering the crowd finally spilled onto the square. In the center of which stood a fountain with a few figures holding goblets and flutes pouring water out of them.

Adalia finally let go of the man’s beard and shoved him close to the center of the square. “Look at it, you feeble minded goat! You have to put a stop to this! Send that creature to the mountains, chain him in the cellar, put him to sleep. Do something!”

The old man leaned on the rim of the fountain and peered at it from under the cupped hand. Suddenly his eyes widened, he slumped to the ground howling with laughter. The old fountain looked as usual at the first glance but looking closely one could see that there were one too many figures standing in the fountain. There amid the mermaids and the cherubim, perched on one foot bowing forward and looping the other leg behind him, arms outstretched a la a swallow in flight, stood the town mayor. He wore a night gown, a cap and one slipper. A stream of water was cheerily sprouting from his mouth. His eyes were closed; in fact he was asleep and blissfully oblivious to his precarious condition, so far.
   
“What are you laughing about, you crazy goon! Release my husband at once!” Cried Adalia kicking at the man’s feet. It brought tears to her eyes to see her spouse ridiculed so and by whom?!

“Well I told him not to press the matter of demolishing that fountain at the town hall meeting! Izachariel isn’t bothering anybody. He just likes…”

“I don’t give a hoot what he likes! He’s not bothering?! And what about poor Miss Atchinson? She still can’t come near the fire. It speaks to her!”

“That old hag proposed to burn down the old Chapel!”

“It’s a health hazard!”

“It’s a landmark!”

“And what about Mister Grump? You two forced out one of the most prominent, respectable…”

“That greedy weasel threatened to wipe out the whole ecosystem!”

“Who needs a swamp?”

“The merpeople! Izachariel just wanted to bridge the gap by bringing the two parties…”

“That lizard kidnapped him and left him in the middle of the swamp to die!”

“Well, he couldn't have brought them to his house, you know they don’t get out much..."

“I don’t know and I don’t want to know. You and that nature lover can go to hell and you will do it by the end of the day! I mean it!” Adalia glared at her foe, her face flushed with rage, fists clenched at her hips.

The old man raised his arms in defeat and silently backed away. He walked off shaking his head and muttering something under his breath. The extra fixture in the fountain suddenly unfroze and splashed head first into the water. People rushed to help the venerate man out of his predicament while Adalia watched the slumped back of the man she once loved fade in the distance.

“Now he’s gonna curse us for sure.”       
© Copyright 2013 Chereda (chereda at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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