cartoon land

CARTOON LAND

When you sit in your room on a Saturday,
You watch cartoons that are not very real.
People being run over by locomotives,
And dining on sticks of dynamite for a meal.
Of course this is our land of make believe,
A fantasy world for us all to enjoy.
Where the goodie always beats the baddie,
And the girl always marries her boy.

But this really happened to me last week,
A falling piano landed right on my head.
I picked myself up and dusted myself down,
I’ll bet you all thought I’d be dead!

And then I staggered into the road,
And got run over by a huge great big truck.
I’ll bet you thought that I must have died,
That I had just ran out of luck.

But I got myself up and dusted myself down,
I felt great and happy and grand.
Then a penguin waddled up to me,
And put a round black bomb right into my hand.

When it exploded, I shit myself,
I had smoke coming off of my hair.
My eyes looked liked they belonged to a panda,
You know…………………… that big Chinese bear.

I was feeling on top of the world,
I’ll bet you all thought I was not.
Elmer Fudd even chased me with his gun,
And seventeen times I was shot.


For some reason or other he called me waaabit!
I’m sure he was even smoking a spliff.
A coyote overtook me chasing a roadrunner,
As I ran at full speed for the cliff.

When I got to the edge I kept running and running,
I’ll bet you thought I’d fall down to the ground.
Then my legs were running, but I wasn’t moving,
And landed with a splat!….. What a sound!

So I picked myself up and dusted myself down,
I’ll bet that you all think I’m insane.
I sat myself down on the railroad track,
And got run over by a huge cargo train.

All my body parts flew up into the air,
My arse was looking right into my eye.
But I knew this was cartoon land,
And no way was I going to die.

My pet dog is called Scooby doo,
My rodent is called Mickey mouse.
I’ve got a birdie called Tweety Pie,
And all of them live in my house.

Because I sat in my room on Saturdays,
Watching cartoons which can never be real.
Myself being run over by lorries,
And eating sticks of dynamite for my meal.
Remember… this is our world of make believe,
A fantasy world for us all to enjoy.
Where the goodie always beats the baddie,
And the girl always divorces her boy.


