Heartaches

Writing your name on my hand
Doesn't do shit
I mean, I speak to you on Skype messaging
But not even that helps it
It hurts so bad you know
Wishing I were older
To have a chance for people to watch as you 'hold her'
Her as in me
But 'her' has to realize, changing your birth year cannot be.
It's so harsh when I think of it,
loving you with all of me
And I can't have you cause I'm not worth one shit
isn't that true?
I bet you'll agree Nicholas Phandoe
that I'm in a dream and can't get out
when I think there is a chance for an 'us'
when there's only chance for the 'doubt'
The doubt of 'us' ever existing.
Composing these poems doesn't bother you I guess
because I know you couldn't care less
you couldn't care less if I died discovering how to make a time travelling machine
because I'm me and you are you
and I bet me and you isn't what you want people to say they've seen
LOVE. It kills
but I'm so much in love that I'm not even a fish out of water, I'm like a fish without gills.
IT HURTS. But they don't care neither do you
although I really wish you do.
WISH. Oh how I LOVE to wish
but this 'wish' is like a 'dream'
a dream that simply fades....it fades just like me in your eyes
this 'wish' or 'dream' just simply dies...
I'd cry out my heart for you
but I'd just get shut down...force closed infact
and put in a cage like a firkin annoying dirty rat
that everyone wants to kill or get rid off...but this time everyone is you
everyone is you in my eyes...
but I'm a rat in yours....story of my life now bring the cage....or bring a knife..
anyone works...you know...cause I'll never be your wife ?