|01/2014 Sometimes being in love is every sweet and beautiful it makes you do some crazy things. Mostly it gives you sense of life a sense of happiness, feeling that your world is finally in your hands. That you finally found someone that's there for you, someone that will always love you. Receiving a text that makes you shoot your smile to everyone around you. Having that shimmer in your eyes, having that feeling that your heart is wrapped around by his. Waking up with that Good Morning text, going to sleep with that Goodnight text.
Going out with him and feeling those butterflies in your stomach them moving and almost coming out of your mouth. That sensation that runs through out your body when he kisses you, the touch of his lips on your. Spending hours with him and feeling that it's only been minutes, canceling on friends just because you miss him and you want to see him. That instant connection you feel when he holds you, blushing when he shows you off to his friends. Craving his body at 3AM, wishing he was laying next to you. Having deep conversations about Chinese food because you guys are too stoned to even know your talking about this too much But at the end of day you know that this isn't going to last because you know he's not that into you that maybe he's just using you. That you just wasted 2 months of your life weekend after weekend being with him. Thinking that you should of known better that you should have covered you heart because you knew. You knew that he just wanted to use you that he doesn't have a heart that he doesn't even care about you, probably to this day he doesn't even remember your name. He didn't even see you as a person he saw you as an item, just a piece of trash that he picked up from the street. Soon after he left you he meet someone else and you know what they've been together for an year now, you know what maybe you were just pit stop maybe he found his destination. Maybe this was your first pit stop maybe someday you'll reach your destination...
Its been 2 years since my heart was destroyed, am a different person now. I now know what love is and how it hurts, how beautiful it is to find a special someone to care for. As a person Im more closed to love, reframed from relationships for a year and just bettering myself. This is really difficult to write because my first love was during this time of year, gloomy days make me miss your smile but Im strong enough to move on. He'll always be apart of me....but I rarely think of him now.