A Twisted Carol

“Speak.”

“What’s up lil sista! It’s been a minute.”

“Uhh…yeah… who’s this?”

“Ouch! Wounded right to the core chicka, how can you not remember lil ol me?”

“It can’t be you…. Cause you been dead. For seven years.”

“As I said, it's been a real minute.”

“Ok well….what do you want?”

“Awww wee lil sister what on god’s green earth would make you think I need something from you.”

“Because you always did before.”

“True enough but I’m dead now so there really isn’t much I need. YOU on the other hand are quite in need of MY assistance.”

“And why would I need no- scratch that- why would I want any help from a druggie burnout loser that died from too much fun?”

“Damn you’re just plain hateful and after all these years too.”

“Not hateful just brutally honest.”

“More like just brutal.”

“With love big bro.”

“Well despite your harshness I am still here to help you with your shit.”

“What shit?”

“Your shit, sista.”

“I’m not sure you can help me with anything, especially since...well you know…. You being dead and all.”

“Yes but that’s the whole point I was stupid and I admit it was fucking awesome but still a total waste man.”

“Just like when you were alive- I still have no freaking clue what you’re talking about.”

“I’m talking about consequences chica. You can’t just party and be selfish all your life! I mean look at what happened to my dumb ass.”

“Look no offense but I’m not ignorant enough to overdose. I’m more likely to piss someone off sooo badly that they decide to kill me.”

“Hardy har har girlie but I’m serious here. Our family has a knack for being selfish addicts and you my dearest sister are going down the same path. And you won’t even admit it! I mean hell at least I was always honest about what a screw up I was.. Am… was… whateva look the problem is the booze and the drugs.”

“Wow… I can’t believe you’ve actually made a long distance phone call from the grave to help me get my act together, it's like a drugged up version of A Christmas Carol.”

“Yeah but unfortunately I don’t get to take you through time I just get one lousy phone call.”

“Well I do hear you man, I really hear you and I’ve been trying...it’s just hard… and I’m on a lapse… well you know.”

“Ya I know darlin just don’t use that word as an excuse… keep getting back on that wagon beautiful. You may not realize it but there are many people that love ya and I will always be looking out for you.”

“Thank you my favorite brother.”

“Well duh! I’m your only brother.”

“Exactly. Though I gotta say….I really needed this….I...”

“Merry unchristmas my favorite sista, oh and the best of luck to ya miss scrooge.”


WC: 493
DIALOGUE 500