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Rated: E · Fiction · Comedy · #2231259
Big Foot's Shopping List
The List

I go to a big tree in the woods each month. In a secret hollow I look for a list. It sometimes is there, sometimes not. I never know when it will appear. But I did make a promise to look for it each month.

Putting your hand into a tree hollow is dicey business. Could be a squirrel in there, a bee hive, or worse, a hornet’s nest. There could be an owl’s nest. But today I found it: Big Foot’s shopping list.

1. Slipper socks - XXX large
2. Elk jerky
3. Polaroid camera with extra film
4. Warm fleece hoodie, size 6X, camo print
5. Hand knit cap, size XXXL, camo print
6. Warm fleece sweat pants, size 6X, camo print
7. Boxer briefs - size 6 X
8. T shirts - size 6X
9. Muck boots - size 20
10. Note book with pen
11. “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie
12. “How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety” by Ellen Hendriksen
13. Lifebuoy soap on a rope
14. Deodorant - unscented
15. Toothpaste and toothbrush
16. Dental floss
17. Devacurl no-poo shampoo
18. Mirror
19. Dog brush
20. Milkbone dog treats

Hmmm…. a bit longer than usual. Looks like he’s getting ready for winter. I pocket the cash, put the list in my jacket pocket, survey the surroundings. I’ve never seen the big guy. We only communicate by email. I’ll buy the goods, have them delivered to the usual place. He’ll send me a picture of the delivered items when they arrive. Then we’ll do it again next month. A few snowflakes start to fall. Guess I’d better get going on the list. Winter will be here before we know it.

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