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Rated: E · Fiction · Comedy · #2252903
For Richard's Retirement Party

Mon-Key-Ing Around

After that Caribbean cruise in May, I had to take some time off work. I was exhausted. I just now am ‘back in the saddle’, as they say.

What a surprise to get to work this morning and find an invite from none other than my little buddy Andre. I’m amazed he still has the nerve to contact me. That little monkey, I hope he has the money he owes me.

Seems Richard ~ Naughty or Nice? is retiring from his real job. Lucky duck. They are holding a big bash at the Banana Bar. But first a cruise on a boat named Mon-Key-Ing Around. Seemed Andre went and got himself a yacht. Where’d he get the money for that?

Festivities begin on June 25th. I can call in sick that day, I’m due a mental health day. The cruise leaves at noon, takes about four hours, then back to the Banana Bar.

I read that we’ll cruise to Andre’s Island Paradise in Bodega Bay. Richard is rumored to have a hut there. Hosting this event are The Grumpy Leprechaun, Pub Bunny and Anon-Y-Monkey. I’ve never met this trio. But I know some of my fellow cruisers from the Caribbean cruise will be attending. So I think, yeah, sign me up. I PayPal the dough.

When a green Irish fairy, a drunk rabbit, and a monkey-sort plan a party, watch out. We all gather as directed at the boat dock and boarded Mon-Key-Ing Around, Andre’s yacht. In a few hours, Captain Anon-Y-Monkey sailed directly into a school of porpoise. Then there were the parasailers. The mast of the yacht caught one, he went down in the sea. We had to haul him on deck before that shark got him, along with his parasail.

The rabbit kept hopping around, complaining of the lack of food. The Irish fairy disappeared when you talked to him, only to reappear behind you. He kept babbling on about that pot of gold.

What was to be a fun trip on the water quickly became a fight for survival. Every man, and woman, for themselves. Anon-Y-Monkey abandoned his post at the helm as the yacht sailed toward a huge tanker. We all got into the lifeboat as the Mon-Key-Ing Around went down.

After a few hours of fierce paddling, the sea took us to Andre’s island, The parasail came in handy, we rigged it up to help us. That reminded me of the movie ‘Castaway’ where Tom Hanks used that section of a Porta-potty as a sail. The entire time we paddled in the ocean, I prayed we wouldn't end up on a deserted island, as sharks circled the lifeboat.

But we did end up on Andre’s Paradise Island. First impressions are sometimes deceiving. This seems like just a spit of land, actually sand, Right in the middle, surrounded by banana trees, sits a little house.

The lifeboat safely on shore, the parasail stored, we make our way the few feet to the house/hut. Standing in the doorway is Richard ~ Naughty or Nice? .

“Hello all! Welcome to my little paradise. Come on in, let’s get this party started!” he states as we walk into the structure.

Basically one large room, we squeeze into the tiny home. Inside The Grumpy Leprechaun already had the Irish whiskey in glasses. Pub Bunny started reciting old limericks while perched on the bar. Anon-Y-Monkey, sporting his captain’s cap, got situated in a hammock. After the others get inside, Richard gives us a tour.

“Here’s the main room. What do you think?”

“Cozy,” stated Lilli, the Coffee Elf ☕️

“The open concept is really working for you,” said PiriPica

“Thanks to all these kind folk for rescuing me,” said the parasailer. “I like your house. Can I stay awhile?”

I tried to think of something kind, not snarky. “I bet the ocean breeze is nice.”

More compliments came his way right before Andre started throwing bananas at everyone. Then The Grumpy Leprechaun punched Pub Bunny for stealing the whiskey bottle. Anon-Y-Monkey ran around the room picking up bananas, then blending them into banana daiquiris.

“Now this is a real party! Drink up, my friends! We have a few minutes before the ship comes by.” Richard took a place behind the bar, broke up that fight, then supervised daiquiri production.

A loud blast got everyone’s attention. Outside floated a large cargo ship.

“That’s your signal, writers, ol’ buddies, ol’ pals! Get on that boat and head back for the party at the Monkey Bar. I’ll clean up here and meet you soon.” Richard pushed us out the door and into the lifeboat.

We were back at the Banana Bar in a few hours. Somehow Richard, The Grumpy Leprechaun, Anon-Y-Monkey, and Andre were already there, along with the mysterious man from the parasailing incident.

“How did you get here so fast?” I asked Richard.

“My helicopter. Didn’t I show it to you?” Richard then dashed off to save the martini glasses that Andre and Anon-Y-Monkey were stacking. Pub Bunny was getting ready to play martini glass bowling with a cantaloupe.

I wanted to talk to Andre about that money he still owed me from Key West, but he kept jumping around like a crazy animal. I’m thinking I just better forget the $25.00. It’s not worth the trouble.

W/C 905

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